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I often look at myself in the the mirror and think that today, I am going to do great things. Often this involves shooting a major Hollywood blockbuster complete with dazzling special effects. Strangely this has never happened as I quickly realise that I have to get to work and anyway, I've only this cruddy camcorder.
My favourite subject is the nude female form. However, as my wife has now threatened me with the European Court of Human Rights I am going to have to broaden my work. It is a frustrating life for an artist when all I ever seem to hear is "Turn that bloody thing off. Cant I even have a bath without you pointing that bloody thing at me" I have researched the internet and found FAR worse nude scenes involving all manner of depravity and fail to see what her problem is.
Well I say cruddy but to be honest its not that bad. Do you know when you have only had experience of one thing and you have nothing to judge it by? Well its a bit like that. It matches my expectations, but my expectations may be on the low side. It works and I have all of the satanic ones formative years recorded for prosperity/evidence and that will do me.
Like a camcorder. OK thats not helpful. Er.... its grey and its small. That better? No? Ok, tedious detail alert. Its 5cmx9cmx12cm. It has a little hand strap that fits snuggly to your hand. It feels steady and secure. The fact that my hand shakes like Ive seen a ghost, and an ugly ghost at that, doesn't help but I cant blame the strap. At the rear is the battery that clips tightly to the camera and on the left is a flip out screen to look at whilst recording or to review.
The screen is 2.7 inches across and is made up of 123,00 pixels. I should know - Ive counted them all. The screen has a few control buttons underneath to fast forward etc etc.
Ok so it looks fine, I was being a bit cynical before. Dinky sums it up.
The camera comes in a matching grey bag with a few helpful pockets. Its quite a tidy little package.
I need simple. Really, trust me. i need really simple. Hey - IT IS! A doddle. Basically, there is nothing more to do than flick a switch, press record and youre away. You keep the subject in view either by watching the little telly inside the viewfinder of by watching the flip out screen. Press the button again to stop and job done. On the top of the camera is a little sliding switch that controls the optical 25x zoom. This operates smoothly and quietly. There are two modes - easy and hard. Ive never used hard because it sounded too hard. it probably isnt - Im just a divvy. Easy does me fine.
There are a number of shooting modes, namely Spotlight, portrait mode, night mode, fireworks, sports mode, sunset, beach and snow but Ive never bothered. And never will. There are also a good few special effect and fades but again they are not necessary for sneaky shower shots.
To review my masterpiece I just flick a switch to "play" and control it as said, viewing either through the eyepiece or on the flip-out screen.
The finished art-house movie
Looks good to me. Well, considering I look as though Im trying to guide a 747 onto its gantry whilst filming it does. Its a fun camera and it seems to capture the fun well. Its not good in poor light and its hard to make things out in the gloom but in daylight or bulblight it seems to make a decent effort. I wouldnt be surprised if you could fiddle with some settings to improve this but I cant be arsed. The colour reproduction seems a bit lame but again, this can probably be improved. To be honest, it suits my personal style. Like I said, I only do low budget art-house movies on a tight budget so I feel the slightly wishy-washy gloomy effects represent the soles of my subjects. Are you lot buying this crap? Its fine. Honest.
The sound is picked up via a built-in mike but you can attach and external one if you get the urge. I do have an issue with the sound which seems to drop out at times but its never bothered me that much.
Getting it off the camera
Easy peasy lemon squeezy. There is a firewire port and a supplied cable so just plug it in and let Windows movie maker do the rest. Film techies are probably horrified at what I just said but it works for me! Okay! Alternatively, film is recorded onto those dinky DV video cartridges which will take 60 mins film and I think they can be played on a video with an adapter.
Good - really. If you really want to get naked pictures of your wife with a professional touch then you need better. You also need a wife that doesnt mind. If you have one, can i borrow her? Its art!
The camera cost about £200 and I know thats really vague but its the schools camera and we used Tesco Computers for Schools vouchers. Did you wonder what we did with them? As such excellent value for money and a good purchase for our needs.
Further info can be found at
I know it says MV 930 in the url but its the same camera as far as I can tell. I think the MV920 tag was for the model for schools!
Thanks for reading. I'll check yours out to!
Originally posted by myself (dhillcrest) on ciao