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      31.05.2001 20:37
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      Lytham St Annes is really made up of three distinct areas : Lytham, Ansdell and St Annes, but I'm going to use LSA to refer to all 3. I lived there from the age of 4 until I started university last September and moved to Manchester. The boring normal stuff - - - - - - - - - - - - - The town itself seems pretty ordinary from the outset; there's a hospital, numerous doctors and dentists, lots of primary schools and 3 secondary schools (one comprehensive, one Catholic and one recently amalgamated private school). There are your standard town shops - Boots, WH Smiths, Woolworths etc, and even a decent sized town centre supermarket, plus 3 libraries. There's a daily local paper (then Gazette) and 3 weekly ones (2 of which - the Reporter and the Citizen are free and the other, the Express, is onsale in all newsagents). The not so normal stuff - - - - - - - - - - - - LSA is situated on the beach, just 10 minutes drive from the infinately more famous Blackpool. Its situation means that from Easter to maybe October, there is an influx of holidaymakers and because of this there are many businesses dedicated to their enjoyment, including - sea-front trampolines - and you should all know by now I love trampolines - a multi-screen cinema – lol, lol and lol some more. This has to be the smallest multi-screen cinema in the world, but it is a cinema non-the-less and pretty cheap so not all that bad. - 2 paddling pools - for which I’m now really too old, sob. We spent many a happy afternoon here while on study leave. Amazingly enough there were some hot days and being term time and weekdays there were fewer tourists so we’d sit there with our feet in the water and talk to each other in German and French, all in the name of revision. - a bowling alley – sorry but it’s time to lol again. From a linguistic point of view this may be an alley, and this is what
      they market themselves as, but truth be told it’s more the back corner of an amusement arcade stlye place. - more hotels than you would ever need (because naturally we would not want the dear darling tourists to have to sleep on a park bench or, even worse, on a dirty beach). - numerous restaurants and pubs (again, we would not want those all important tourists to starve) but one word of advice for out of towners - avoid Lytham's town centre pubs at weekends during term time unless your idea of fun is to watch drunk 14 year olds throw up for hours on end). Moving on, there are a few museums and quite a nice theatre which frequently stages plays put on by the active local dramatics society and hosts the annual stage dance festival which attracts competitors from all over the country. Sure, some or all of these can be found in the majority of cities, but what you have to remember is that LSA is a tiny little town (or 3 tiny little towns, but you know what I mean). Oh, and we have a beach, but you've probably guessed that already, right? Nightlife - - - - - Can you say limited? There’s a club, just the one, and they have to have signs for it during the day time otherwise you’d never find it. Lytham has a pub scene but most people just head off to Blackpool for the wonderfully famous clubs where people die and get stabbed etc. Lots of fun. For more info check out the everso-nicely titled website www.lythamandbooze.co.uk Sports - - - - Well if you like golf you might have figured out by now we have a few courses, and hosted the british open this year. Apart from that there’s mini-golf (is that even a sport?), a swimming pool, tennis courts and sand yahting among others. Getting There - - - - - - - - Motorway to Preston (M6) or Blackpool (M6 leading to M55) and then folow the signs. Trains run directly to both places from Manchester, and to Pr
      eston from London and Scotland. St Annes, Ansdell and Lytham all have small stations too. Or fly to Blackpool airport, really situated on the edge of LSA. Sarky Concluding Comments - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - This place sucks. Ok, not really, but I am not that fond of this place, probably because I lived here for years. In many repects we loathe the tourists, but without them we wouldn’t have, for example, the trampolines :-) , so they’re not (all) that bad. It’s the type of place you’d call “a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there”. Trouble is, I did.

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