Klute was once voted second worst nightclub in europe, the worst club has since burnt down, which I think sums it up. I used to go to Klute when I was 16 as it was renound for letting in underage drinkers, illegal yes, but it was the done thing. You walk in and immediately stick to the dirty, stained dance floor. The music is cheesy pop, perfect for students but not somewhere someone like me in their mid 20's wants to be seen in. Most people who attend are students, underage drinkers or those who want to go to the worst nightclub in europe. It smells, the toilets are horrible, there is a down stairs which is just as bad and the drinks are expensive and aimed at binge drinking. I would be happy if I never ever return to Klute and can only imagine that one day environmental health will shut it down. Its just wrong on so many levels.
Given that Klute hasn't been reviewed in years and given that it has changed a bit since then, I think it's time to give it a bit of a go. In one sense, Klute is a student only nightclub located in a refurbished boat house next to Elvet Bridge in Durham. As the story goes, an FHM reporter came to review the club and got stuck in one of the all too frequent hour-long queues before being turned away. Given this treatment he was quick to vote it the second worst nightclub in Europe. The story then goes on to say that the Eastern European hovel with the privilege of being first burned down soon after, thus making Klute the worst nightclub in Europe. This is a label which it has not only accepted, but embraced and exploited much to the delight of the student population of Durham. The club itself it poky, the bars are stocked with little more than vodka, the playlist remains the same for six months at a time and stubbornly changes to cheese at midnight, the dance floor hinders movement, the walls drip with sweat and touching the floor might prove hazardous to your health - but far from being negative points, this is why we LOVE Klute. Klute is more than just the building, it is a frame of mind! Regular college nights allow hordes of drunken students the chance to mingle with acquaintances and come away with friends, if only for the next few hours given that memories might be the worse for wear the next morning. This is all completed under a haze of Quaddie - Klute's infamous drink which sees double vodka and cranberry meet double vodka and orange for the paltry sum of four hundred pennies. Entry to the club on a non-college night usually comes in at about the same price with some nights costing more and others less. The music is somewhere between Wensleydale and Stilton, at least after midnight when you can expect Abba medley to walk hand in hand with numbers from High School Musical. In fact, so predictable is the playlist that it is entirely possible to sing along without stopping for the final two hours. The hours leading up to midnight now play a refreshing mix of modern chart masterpieces, and in the most un-Klute like fashion you are able to make requests. Being able to dance to this music is another matter entirely, and an unpredictable one as well, given that on some nights you'll have the entire dancefloor to yourself whereas on others you can dance in a way known only to sardines and other canned goods. The night inevitably finishes to a rousing rendition of 'That's Amore' where everybody is friends with everybody else and everybody gets with everybody else, leading to quite a few shocks when the lights do go on. After this revelatory moment it is not uncommon to drown your sorrows with chips from Janes' next door, as much an institution as Klute is. In conclusion, Klute is the best of places and the worst of places. Go there on the right night and you'll be offered fun beyond compare with close friends and friendly faces. Choose the wrong night and you'll be charged a fiver to battle with strangers for the chance to be savaged on the dancefloor. Regardless, this place is well worth the visit, if only to say that you've been to the worst nightclub in Europe.
Klute is a way of life. The inability to move, 2 hr queuing, 80's music, abundance of Posh drunk random students and total loss of inhibitions combine to make this THE experience of your life. The only club where you can dance to GHOSTBUSTERS, the A-TEAM, BATMAN and the JACKSON 5 in one evening. The music is quite simply awesome, and as an added bonus you can actually buy the 'Klute tape' which they play every night. You are as likely to spot a 'Kappa dressed Geordie' as a 'BinLiner/BlackTie/Blazer/DressingGown/Nakedly clad student'. Perhaps the crowing glory of Klute is 'The Dirty Shop' -very much an integral part of the Klute experience. May I take this oppurtunity to strongly recommend the 'Cheesy Chips with meat and garlic' only to be served at 3am by Jane . Just Go there.
Clubbing and the word Durham shouldn't be used in the same sentence. Of it's two nightclubs one was voted the second worst in Northern Europe, while the other isn't a great deal better! Klute is the club that was voted the second worst in Northern Europe, and to be honest, it probably deserves it! Still, due to lack of choice more than anything, it does prove popular amongst Durham students! I've only been myself a few times, and I don't plan on returning in the neat future. A typical adventure to Klute on a Friday or Saturday involves the following..... Get to Klute just after 11pm - there's no need to go any earlier, it's so bad that you want to get maximum 'in pub' time so that you can drink plenty of alcohol, maybe even enough to make Klute seem good! At this time of the night the chances are that you're going to have to queue to get in at this time, but it only takes around 10 minutes max normally. Pay about £4 to get in, then realise that Baha at Newcastle only charge a fiver - you've been done! Now comes one of the worst bits - the wait to get upstairs. The downstairs bar is a bar, but not a dance floor. For this you need to go upstairs, which can be a very long wait! Of course, the overpriced bar can relieve your wait. Why not go for a double vodka and coke, a snip at over £4 (OK, in London that may be cheap, but where I come from it's damned expensive!). Just when you think you want to leave you finally make it upstairs, to the delights of the Klute dance floor. All 2 foot of it (OK, I'm exaggerating, but it really is small!). You have two choices, either force your way on to the overcrowded dance floor, or try to find one of the limited number of seats. Either way you will treated to ample amounts of cheesy music. Now I don't normally mind cheesy music, at least everyone knows it and even likes it, but somehow Klute manage to pick the worst cheesy music to play. Oh, and did I mention the place is a dump? Going to the toilet would be a relaxing event after being inside, were it not for the pools of vomit lining the stairs (OK, only happened once, but I need to make the point). After Klute closes at 2am whatever you do, do not eat food from the nearby takeaway. Everyone I have ever talked to who bought food from the next door takeaway got ill. It's probably fine now, but don't take the chance - there's a nice chippy up the road which is always open late! So, to sum up, it's useless. But go anyway, it's an experience! More Info - http://www.durham21.co.uk/freshers_site/durham_bars_clubs.asp