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Jesters Nightclub (Southampton)

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Address: 112-118 Bevois Valley Road / Southampton SO14 0JZ

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      19.12.2011 19:13
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      A night you won't forget, even if you wake up struggling to remember what exactly happened!

      Jesters Nightclub epitomises the concept of something being so bad it's good. That's generally how anyone who's been to this nightclub in Portswood, Southampton describes it.

      From the moment you enter the doors, you are greeted with the familiar smell of stale alcohol, sweat and vomit, and there seems to be a negative correlation between your level of drunkenness and the effect the smell has on you. In other words, Jesters is not a place to go to sober.

      Having paid a minimal entry fee, and carefully negotiated the treacherous steps into the underground club, the first place to go is the bar for its dirt-cheap drinks. On Monday nights, the term 'scrum' is an understatement, as hundreds of students queue to buy 50p pints from the welly-clad bar-staff. Yes, wellies; if you hadn't already guessed, Jesters is not the most glamorous of nightclubs. Many of its regulars possess a pair of 'Jesters Shoes', and some even keep a pair of jeans reserved for the sole purpose of a messy night in Jesters. The floor vaguely resembles a shallow swamp, and getting a drink spilt down you is practically a given. And as for the toilets, let's just say it's worth holding on for a few more hours. Or just go in the corner of the club; no one will notice, and if they do, it's not the worst thing they're likely to witness. Enough said.

      The Jesters playlist comprises current chart hits, well-loved cheese, and a handful of favourites that are played more than once a night; one track that immediately comes to mind is Baywatch, whereby hundreds swarm to the already saturated dance-floor and hastily strip.

      From the above it seems that I've contradicted the 5-star rating I've awarded the club, but I will now go back to my first sentence. The truly revolting nature of Jesters only increases its appeal, and it's the perfect place to go for a cheap, carefree night out with hundreds of other students, where managing to get thrown out is an achievement potentially greater than finding a cure to cancer. A must for any University of Southampton student, Jesters Nightclub is definitely an experience not to forget, even if you wake up the next morning failing to remember what the hell happened last night!

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