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    Your dooyooMiles Miles

    27 Reviews
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      15.03.2014 16:51
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      Why not!

      Ben Fogle is an example of how lucrative reality TV has become. He was one of 36 people who chose to go back to basics to live on the remote Scottish island of Taransay for one year with the cameras following their exploits and interaction in the community. Handsome posh boy Ben did so well after the show with media appearances that he managed to get together a 1.5 million pound bid for the island just ten years later, enjoying his experience so much and the cash he had made thereafter. But, alas, what was once an interesting television genre is anything but reality TV today. Dave Hester, the ex star of Storage Hunters, a great example.


      Dave was one of the stars of the first two series but started blabbing that the show was fixed and the production team placed valuable items in the storage lockers that the buyers then bid on to make it all more exciting, rumblings that he was going to be let go from the show anyway why he started slagging the show off. He also squealed that the show paid for one of the female stars to have a breast implant to sex up the show. A Hester law suit followed and it was revealed in court just how much these guys were earning. Hester revealed that he received $25,000 per episode, a guarantee of 26 episodes, $2500 per month for travel, a $124,500 expense account and a $25,000 signing bonus. In total his salary for the year came to $829,500. This was basically the owner of a junk shop. Hester was especially upset that the cast members were not allowed to re-sell any of the valuable and 'alleged' planted items as is portrayed on the show. Normally the winning bidder sells the items and keeps the proceeds, but Hester says the planted items must be returned to the producers. It was an interesting example of lifting the veil on just how set up these shows are.

      Storage Wars is exactly the same format as Storage Hunters, some of the stars crossing over to be in their sister show. If you haven't seen these America auction style shows it's basically about a collection of characters that go to public auctions and bid blind for the contents of storage lockers and bins - that can be garage size to wardrobe size - where the owners of the bin/locker contents have failed to pay their rent on them and so the contents seized for collateral and the payment. It is somewhat confusing why the owners can't use valuable items in the lockers to pay those bills. The punters can also bid on luggage and shipping containers but mostly storage locker/bins in Storage Wars. To make it interesting they are not allowed into the storage bin to inspect the goods and have to go by what they can see to calculate their bid. Nearly always there's a tarp over the top of the mystery item that may, or may not, be the money. Bidding tends to be macho and above what they would normally go, purely because they have twenty-five grand burning a whole in their pockets.

      The types and characters that make their living from the auctions end up being selected for the show and if they score well on an audience poll then get paid cash to appear. Obviously most lockers are full of junk and so you suspect they do indeed spike them with good stuff. Dave Hester is/was the professional locker guy with a company logo and uniform here waved his money around bully boy style to buy the best lockers; his signature bid of 'yeeeuppp'... very familiar to those who watch the show. Young couple Brandi Passante and Jarrod Schultz, who own their own second hand store, are also stars (sexy Brandi who had the implants, allegedly) along with poser and likeable antiques collector Barry Weiss (also leaving the series). Darrell Sheets and his son Brandon the couple of rednecks from the flyover states to bring in the social class element. Sexy Brandi has used her fame to earn a place in a sitcom on ABC.

      As we have got used to the pure volume of reality shows being about the people and not so much their jobs and lifestyles the 'contestants', and that's what they are now, have started to be 'selected' for the shows on looks and volatility and so no longer about the psychology of the interactions. The people who come on want to be famous, simple as, so perform like seals to achieve that. They get too big for their boots and shocked when the get asked to move on, believing the illusion of television they helped to create. The first two Big Brothers in England were fascinating viewing and an anthropologist dream but now its just show offs and plastic people who do these shows.

      If you can get past the obvious that these shows are set up then Storage Wars is good fun because of the chemistry between the bidders but also the excitement and history of the valuable stuff they find, whether it's placed there or not. Antiques and collectibles in England are the boring old furniture collected by likewise people where as in America its stuff from events that shaped America that tends to hold value, like the Civil and War of Independence and the film industry, many of the auctions in the show in the California area. Some of it is interesting stuff and you do learn things when the bidders take the stuff to the experts. On the whole through is throw away TV and broadcast on ITV 4 Monday night

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        16.06.2002 19:09
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        Comedy is such a subjective thing, one mans chalk is anothers cheese and so on. So bearing that in mind the following are my favourite ten comedies. In no particular order: 1)National Lampoons Vacation - Starring Chevy Chase as Clarke Griswold, the father from hell, who has planned his family vacation in the form of a road trip from their home in Chicago to "Walley World" in California. The road trip doesn't start well - when Clarke goes to pick up the new car the wrong one has been deilvered and is infact a hideous green station wagon, but to set the tone for the film they have to keep it as their old car has already been crushed. As the film rolls on we slowly see cracks appearing in the family and Clarke gradually going insane. The scene with Clarke a sandwich and Christie Brinkley is just genius. Also starring John Candy as the inept security guard at "Walley World" this is real treat. "What do I think? I think you're all F***ed in the head!" 2)The Blues Brothers - Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi star in this very musical comedy as Jake and Elwood Blues.... The Blues Brothers. The film revolves around Jake and Elwoods mission (from god) to save their old orphanage. They need to raise $5000 to pay back taxes and what better way to do this than re-form their old rythm and blues band "The Blues Brothers". Belushi and Aykroyd are great as the brothers, taking everything thrown at them in their stride, when their "hotel" is destroyed by an irate Carrie Fisher, they simply dig themselves out of the rubble, brush themselves down and go to work. Some fantasic camoes from the likes of John Lee Hooker, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin and James Brown give the film some memorable musical numbers, while the chase to find the Blues Brothers, by the police, The Illinois Nazis, The Good Ole Boys, Bob (owner of Bob's Country Bunker) and a very annoyed Carrie fisher provide the laughs
        . I simply cannot tire of this film. "It's 105 miles to Chicago,we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses" "Hit it" 3)Grosse Point Blank - John Cusack is Martin Blank the hit man who has lost his appetite for his profession in this dark comedy. He finds himself back in Grosse Point, his home town, to attend his ten year high school renunion and complete one last job, while hopefully making peace with his high school sweetheart (Minnie Driver). A lot has changed though since he was last in Grosse Point (his mother is in a nursing home and the family home is now an "Ultimart" for starters), and with rival assasin (Dan Aykroyd) on the scene will he complete his simple goals and get out alive or will something perhaps go wrong? If you don't know or can't guess give this one a shot I'm sure you'll like it. "What have you been doing with your life?" "Uh, Professional Killer" "Oh, good for you. It's a growth industry" 4)Planes, Trains and Automobiles - Neal Page (Steve Martin) has a simple goal.... get home in time to spend thanksgiving with his family. Things start to go wrong though when his flight is cancelled due to bad weather conditions and he has to make alternative travel plans. Things go even more pear shaped though when he is joined on his travels by Del Griffith (John Candy), the shower curtain ring salesman who always has something to say. Following the pair on their seemingly cursed travels across America makes for a very entertaining couple of hours. Special mention has to go to the scene where their car has a "small" fire.... brilliant. "Was that seat hot or what? I feel like a Whopper. Turn me over, I'm done and ready. I'm afraid to look at my ass. There'll be grill marks" 5)So I Married an Axe Murderer- Pro
        bably my favourite Mike Myers film edges out the Austin Powers films because of the setting.... San Francisco - every time I watch the film I'm reminded of a holiday spent there. Anywho... Myers is Charlie Mackenzie a man with a problem with commitment. He breaks up with women for bizarre reasons - Pam smelled like soup - beef vegetable soup. When he meets Harriet Michaels (Nancy Travis) all this changes... he is determined to make this one work, but could she be the mysterious axe murderer his mother has been telling him about? No, surley that's ridiculous. Or is it? Special mention to Charlies father (Myers also) and his opinions of Charlie's little brothers head size. "Heid, move!" 6)The Naked Gun - Leslie Nielson is incompetent cop Lt. Frank Drebin, who somehow has to foil an attempt on the life of Queen Elizabeth II. Vincent Ludwig(Ricardo Montalban) is the man with the assasination plot, which revolves around brainwashing innocent poeple to do his bidding and Jane Spencer (Priscilla Pressley) provides the love interest for Drebin. With all the regulars from Police Squad in tow (including the jokes!) this is a wonderfully silly comedy with Leslie Nielson playing Drebin down to a tee. "Hey, nice Beaver!" "Thanks, I just had it stuffed" 7)Monty Python and the Holy Grail - won't go into character listing as the team play various different charachters and it would take too long to list them all. The film centres around King Arthur and his knights in their search for the Holy Grail. There are so many moments in this that are worth a mention - the following are but a few. the low budget lack of horses - their replacement being servants clicking coconut shells together "Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away away." the french soldiers taunting of King Arthur. the knights who say "Ni"
        Genius, simply genius. 8)There's Something About Mary - Ben Stiller is Ted. Ted has had a crush on Mary (Cameron Diaz) since high school, and after 13 years he decides to track her down with the help of sleazy private detective Pat Healy (Matt Damon). Unfortunately Pat also falls for Mary with (as I'm sure a review must have said somewhere) hilarious consequences. Some of the set pieces in this are hilarious, my particular favourite being Ted's arrest for, as far as he knows, picking up a hitchhiker. Matt Damon handles his scenes failry well and Cameron Diaz is simply stunning! "We've got a bleeder!" 9)Zoolander - The most recent addition to my top ten this seems to be a love it or hate it kind of film, and obviously I fall into the first category. Ben Stiller is Derek Zoolander a male model who with his look "Blue Steel" has been at the top of the male model world for 3 years, despite his disability of not being able to turn left. However with new talent on the block in the shape of Hansel McDonald (Owen Wilson) Derek is on his way out, and following the death of his male model friends in an unfortunate pertol hose accident he begins to wonder if their is more to life than male modelling. He retires and tries to find his "roots". However he is soon back in the only world he knows - that of the male model - and wrapped up in a plot to assasinate the prime minister of Malaysia (the pm plans to end sweat shops - thus having a huge financial impact on the fashion indusrty) - thanks to fashion guru Mugatu (Will Ferrel) Ben stiller is fantastic as Zoolander and really makes the film tick. The "walk off", adjudicated by none other than David Bowie, has to be the highlight of the film for me. "Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" 10)Airplane! - How could I po
        ssibly leave this out? Ted Striker (Robert Hayes) is an ex-navy pilot who has been afraid to fly ever since THAT incident. His long term girlfriend Elaine Dickinson (Julie Hagerty) has just dumped him, so like any metaly fragile bloke he follows her onto her flight (Elaine is a stewardess). When everyone who eats the fish dish (including the captain and his crew) becomes seriously ill it's up to Ted to land the plane. Can he do it? will he crack up? who knows, just don't call him Shirley. Brilliant. "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?" Well there you go my top ten comedies, any comments will be gladly received. cheers.

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          04.12.2001 06:59
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          What is a black comedy? Hmmm, a good question not so easily defined. To me, a black comedy is one which pokes fun at our human foibles and failings often taking them to extremes, or one that takes something that by all standards of good manners and polite behavior is NOT funny, and makes you laugh anyway! Wasn't it George Carlin who said the best laughter is suppressed laughter? Like when you are kneeling by the casket? That's black humor. It seems to me, either you love this form or you hate it. I have never known anyone who feels half-hearted either way when it comes to this style of comedy. Me, I started early as a James Thurber fanatic, and just carried that appreciation over into films. If you have never laughed at the dark side of life, you may wish to skip this review altogether. If however, you are looking for something on darker side of life to chuckle over, give some of these black gems a try! If I could Ever rate any movie genre from 10 - 1, the first two movies here would STILL be tied for first place... 1.WAR OF THE ROSES: A man walks into a lawyer's office looking for a divorce, and the lawyer tells him he has to be SURE this is what he really wants.So, the lawyer begins to tell him the story of Mr. and Mrs. Rose... We watch them meet, fall in love, and get married. Mr.Rose works hard and rises in his business. They have children...overweight, demanding, ungrateful children, but still the standard P.C. number and distribution of 1 boy, 1 girl. We see Mrs. Rose get the Home of her dreams and as the years pass, her children grow up, her husband moves further into his career, and she creates the vision she has always imagined this home could be, but ... then what? Where do you go in life when you are locked into what everyone else in your life perceives you to be? She must act just SO for the dinners with clients and bosses, and only THIS way for her children. Trapped in her Rapunze
          l life, Mrs. Rose begins to branch out with a catering business. However, it does not alleviate the pressure that has built up inside her, nor does it change the attitudes of those who have kept her in this "tower" for all these years. Mrs. Rose begins to grow thorns! What begins as your average domestic dispute escalates to proportions hitherto unheard of either in legend or in any episode of COPS! Their sharp tongues, deadly aim, and battle tactics just get bigger, grander and better while you alternately laugh and cringe! You keep thinking, "This has to stop, right?". Well, by the time they have divided the house between them and their lawyer friend (the narrator, remember?) is trying to express his concern to Mr. Rose - who replies, "I have more square footage!" with a maniacal gleam in his eye, you can be assured it has all edged into the realm of madness! This one is SO deserving of a number one spot for black comedy just because they carry it all the way through to the very last scene, but then there is .... 2.THE LIFE OF BRIAN: A gem of a movie from Monty Python. Set in the biblical era, we follow our hero(?) Brian from his birth to his death in a series of unlikely, but highly amusing and even enlightening escapades. He begins life by having the Three Wise Men arrive mistaking him for the Messiah. They take back the gifts when they realize their mistake, of course! His is truly a life story of always being in the right place at the wrong time, or is it the Wrong place at the Right time? If you have never seen, or heard of this film I suggest you check out some of the excellent reviews written here. I simply can't do justice to this one in a top ten list.Put most simply, it pokes a lot of fun at peoples' willingness to be blindly following sheep, especially when it comes to religion or politics! My favorite scene is where a crowd decides he is another Prophet and the
          y not only latch on to different things as being "what He wants us to do" and begin arguing, they chase him down for further explanations! So, why do I feel it vies for first place? Brian ends his life by being crucified, but he also ends with a song! Always look on the Bright side of Death! Just before you draw your terminal breath!..." "Cheer up, you silly old bugger!" the fellow hanging next to him says, "You come from nothing, you return to nothing, so what have you lost?.....NOTHING!" Let's continue with the list, shall we? 3.ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD!: Be warned, this is NOT an easy tale to follow, but it is well worth the effort! Rarely are we treated to such an intellectual film with such unrelenting dark humor! Two men ride along a road to...well, they aren't sure where... or why... or Gee, come to think of it, they aren't even really sure WHO they are! "We were summoned, I remember that much" says Rosencrantz...or is he Guildenstern? They meet The Tragedians, a band of actors from the city, who offer them some entertainment. "We can give you blood and lust, blood and rhetoric, blood and comedy, or all three! But we cannot give you lust, rhetoric, or comedy without the blood..Blood is compulsory!" In which they may participate...for a small fee. So, the ride begins! This is the tale of Hamlet as seen through the eyes of two very minor characters in this Shakespearian play, or were they perhaps the ONLY characters? Done in a bit of a surreal style, people who already have difficulty following Shakespeare's works may get completely lost here. For ardent fans however, this one is a Must! The verbal tennis match is a definite highlight not to be missed! 4.HERO: Dustin Hoffman plays the incorrigible and unlucky Bernie LaPlante, small time crook. Hurrying from
          his court case (after duping his novice attorney out of yet more money), Bernie tries to make it to his ex-wife's house to spend some quality time with his much loved son. Fate ties him up though when his car stalls next to the bridge where a plane load of people crash! Reluctantly, Bernie lends a helping hand, but removes his shoes first because Hey, they are very expensive shoes! After being trampled by the panicked passengers, Bernie gets further roped in by a small boy's plea to find his father who is still trapped on the plane. Bernie pulls out an amazing number of people looking for this one man and one of the passengers saved is Gale Gayley(Geena Davis), ace reporter. Bernie steals her purse in the process, and disappears into the night leaving behind only a single shoe. A rather crude, gruff, blackened, bedraggled, unscrupulous Cinderella! He hitches a ride with a gentle Vietnam vet (Andy Garcia)living on the edge of homelessness, who ends up taking his shoe and ALL his glory! A million dollar reward offered by Gale's TV station! Who would ever believe that Bernie is the real Hero?! Certainly not his ex! Amusingly played by Joan Cusak. One of the rare performances where she does NOT play opposite John, but that's ok, Bernie's attorney is played by another sibling, Susie Cusak! Touching, amusing, and yet still a dark comedy, this is another example where they don't really end on an up note! This 1992 release may be one you over looked! My favorite scene- When his ex is so mad at him she doesn't even comment on his extremely bedraggled appearance for like 5 minutes, she just starts laying into him. Suddenly she pauses as if just noticing his appearance and immediately after asking him what happened to him says, "Never mind! I don't want to know!" and then starts to lay into him again! 5.ELECTION: Tracy Flick (Reese Witherspoon)is one of those people that every sch
          ool has at least ONE of- too perfect, too driven, and just a little too deceptively perky! She is running unopposed for class president until Jim McCallister (Matthew Broderick) a teacher who believes in ethics, and is convinced that something sinister lies behind Tracy's smile decides to take a hand by encouraging a popular football player to run also. Let the games begin! The heights, or depths to which these two sink and the madness that ensues is nearly as viscious and as quick as any Presidential campaign! Nice guys finish last, and people far more demented and seemingly Perfect than Tracy somehow always end up on top. Jim McCallister is not perfect or even the proverbial nice guy, he is merely human. A bit more perceptive than some perhaps, but certainly not gifted or blessed with anything else except Bad Judgement and Bad Luck! Still, he never stood a chance...Tracy eats him alive! 6.AMERICAN BEAUTY: Suburbanite Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) relates the tale of his hum-drum existence and how he chucked it all to put the vitality back into his life. Lusting after his daughter's beautiful "friend", Lester goes through a series of contortions mental, physical, and spiritual that boggle the mind. His overly status-conscious wife Carolyn (Annette Bening) thinks he has flipped, yet she too is going through a mid-life crisis that will have you howling! Their daughter becomes enamored of Ricky the odd young man who moves in next door. Many of the profound statements made by this movie spring either directly or indirectly from this character, and if you think the Burnhams are dysfunctional, wait till you get a load of Ricky's home life! My favorite scene is the one where Lester simultaneously quits his boring job and extorts money from the company! I have never seen ANYONE quit with quite this amount of style before, but Man, I laughed so hard I cried! This is a movie that could fit just as easily into
          the Drama section, but I loved it for it's dark humor as well as it's profound statements. If you haven't seen this one already, please do! 7.HEATHERS: "My teen angst b*llsh** has a body count!" Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder) madly scribbles into her journal at one point of this movie, while wearing a monacle of all things! At her high school, you are either a Heather, a friend of the Heathers like Veronica, or nobody of importance. Pack leader Heather Chandler (Kim Walker), Heather Duke (Shannon Doherty), and Heather McNamara(Lisanne Falk) rule the school with expertly manicured iron fists. When new student, disturbed young rebel Jason "J.D." Dean (Christian Slater), emphasizes the Heathers' ruthlessness and cruelty to Veronica she begins to look for a way to escape their social clutches. Popularity War takes on a whole new meaning in this film! The most popular people appear to be committing suicide. Only J.D. and Veronica know that it is murder! "They have to be stopped!" J.D. proclaims at one point. No one, least of all Veronica, realizes just how disturbed J.D. really is until it is almost too late! The suicide "evidence" left at the scene with the two football players was hysterical, as well as the last words of Heather Chandler! I think the final showdown between J.D. and Veronica is my favorite part though. Riddled with great lines like, "Our love is God, let's go get a slushie!", and "Dear ____, I've had a really great time, but..." this is a cult classic. 8. ADDICTED TO LOVE: Great comedic performances by all the leads here. This is your basic boy loves girl, boy loses girl to another boy who used another good girl, Jilted girl teams up with Jilted boy to destroy new relationship tale. LOL, thank goodness they aren't all this uncomplicated, right? Matthew Broderick (Sam)plays the
          jilted astronomer boyfriend who pursues his sweetheart and finds her in a relationship with a french restauranteer full of pretentious statements, opinions, and himself(his is one of the best performances here)! Sam hides out in the condemned building across the street from their apartment. I was intrigued by his use of astrological equipment to project their images on the walls, like a movie screen, as well as his comparing their behavior to celestial activities! It isn't long before the Frenchman's ticked off former fiancee makes herself known to Sam and the two of them begin a campaign of ruin! This story takes romantic revenge to it's extreme end! "All I want is his dignity." Meg Ryan's character proclaims and BOY! does she get it! Who was it who sang "..The female is more deadly than the male.."? They were so right. Anyone who has ever fantasized going to one tenth of the lengths THESE two jilted lovers go to to teach their former loved ones a lesson will adore this movie! 9.GROSSE POINT BLANK: Ok, this one has a way happier ending than most of my dark picks, but where else would I put it?! Martin Blank (John Cusak) is a free-lance assassin who is dissatisfied with his life. He stood up his girlfriend Debbie (Minnie Driver), left town on prom night, and hasn't been seen in Grosse Point since. His work isn't going well, his biggest rival wants him either in HIS "guild" or dead, Altman-his psychiatrist is terrified of him, and his secretary wants Martin to attend his high school reunion! Forced to come back to his old hometown to perform one last hit and set things right, Martin is being followed by another assassin and two cops who were tipped off by Martin's rival- Grosser (Dan Akroyd), as well as all his own emotional baggage! This is the high school reunion from Hades! "Don't forget your identity!" his secretary cheerful reminds him a
          s he sets out. Loaded with hilarious scenes, lines, and plenty of action this film also has a great little soundtrack! My favorite scene? When Martin comes home to find it has been turned into a...Mini-Mart! "I guess you can't go home again, Altman, but you can shop there!" He relates to his reluctant therapist! Favorite line- "By the way, thanks for the pen!" (You'll have to see it to know why that is my favorite line! and finally... 10. ADDAMS FAMILY AND ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES: OK, I know, a bit of a cheat, but how can I list one and not the other? The Addams family was so wonderfully carried forward for new generations to love and be warped by in both these fun films! A great cast all around however, no one else may ever play Gomez Addams quite so delightfully as Mr. Julia. His death was a great loss to the cinema world for so many reasons. Well, "they're creepy and they're kooky, they're altogether spooky, They're the Addams Family!". The first film sets scene and tone and brings back beloved Fester to the welcoming arms of his clan. Of course it's not Really Fester, is it? It's all just a scam by Tully Alford, the Addams' destitute lawyer, and a pair of twisted loan sharks. How long can some one Pretend to be an Addams and still convince everyone they really belong...without BECOMING an Addams?! The delights are too many to list in this dark mad cap romp... Favorite lines- "Gomez,last night, you were unhinged! You were like some desperate, howling demon! You frightened me....Do It Again!" "How long has it been since we waltzed?...Oh Gomez, hours!" "Will you buy some of my deliscious Girl Scout cookies?---Are They made from real Girl Scouts?" Favorite scene- Hmm, that's a tough one because there are so many great ones here and I enjoyed them all. I would probably have to say
          either the first duel between Tully and Gomez (jeez, what some people won't do to keep a client!), or the scene where Morticia is strapped to the torture wheel and she and Gomez have this intense little scene...Only to be so rudely interupted by "Dr. Pinderschloss"! Addams Family Values tells the tale of the newest Addams family member, Pubert (I thought this was going to be a real mistake, I couldn't be happier that I was wrong!), and his demented nanny, Debbie - the Black Widow murderess and "delicate, graceful Ballerina Barbie". What a perfect addition to the twisted Addams clan! The scenes with Wednesday and Pugsley in the WAY too "normal" summer camp are some of my favorites. I loved the twist she put on the perky girls' ghost story, the camp counselors, the Thanksgiving play, and the scenes from the Harmony Hut. "You won't forget me?", Wednesday asks Joel when she is escaping. "I can't, you're too weird!" Says Wednesdays first love. Ah, first love, is it ever more precious than when he acknowledges the occasion by stealing your nemisis' dental headgear? Favorite lines- when Lurch wheels in a huge cake at the bachelor party and nobody jumps out, " Lurch, was she in there BEFORE you baked?!" Debbie's wedding vow after Fester's Heart-felt declaration, "That was nice!...Ditto." When Wednesday "catches" the bouquet, "Don't worry, it's not binding!" she tells Joel Glickman, her nervous boyfriend. The Addams' coming to see Fester after Debbie's forced estrangement where Morticia lists all of her evil deeds against the Addams', "I could forgive all that, but Debbie! Pastels?!" Favorite scenes- When Debbie has them all strapped into electric chairs and we get her life story, and a list of her reasons why "They Had To Go!"...The Add
          ams' agree with her! "What about YOUR needs?" And of course Wednesday's final scene in the family graveyard with her new beau..."She wasn't crazy, she was sloppy!...I'd scare my husband to death." Too right, she would! Both are films you just can't miss if you love Black Comedy! HONORABLE MENTIONS: The Trouble With Harry, Throw Momma From the Train, Feeling Minnesota, High Fidelity, Very Bad Things, and The House Of Yes-(this one was even a little too twisted for ME!)

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            21.10.2001 00:27
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            Ok, after announcing that I am leaving dooyoo next week, I was surprised by the response I got.. so I am thinking about just taking a break... Thanks for all the support:) Anyhow, enough of that let me get on with the matter in hand. The Duran Duran award for outstanding eighties pap goes to: Weird Science (1985) Doesn't seem like your usual romantic comedy. But it is. Honestly. Gary Wallace ( Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt Donnelly (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) are high school losers. They are Kings of Geekdom. One evening they decide to create a virtual woman on Wyatt's new computer, (which now looks like something knocked up in a Blue Peter show) and lo and behold it works, the shapely figure of Lisa (Kelly LeBrock, not hampered by eightees hair or fashion, TSK) enters their lives. But can Gary and Wyatt ever be popular and get themselves girlfriends? The point being would you care if you could shower with Kelly Le Brock? Some great moments, such as when Lisa meets Gary's parents and says to Gary's mother, ' Doesn't it worry you that your son's only sexual outlet is tossing off in the bathroom?' The mom replies, crying : You told me you were combing your hair Tee hee very juvenile. I love Gary and Wyatt, especially Wyatt, when he wakes up wearing Lisa's knickers. Bill Paxton is also very funny as Wyatt's overbearing, repulsive brother Chet. Predictable, dated, childish, but all in a good way... You will feel all warm inside at the ending... then again Kelly Le Brock wears shorts in the last scene.... Scientific data: Directed by : John Hughes Written by:John Hughes Running time: 94 mins Certificate: 15 Soundtrack: Oingo Boingo (LOL), OMD, Los Lobos. 2. The Audrey Hepburn award for timeless appeal goes to: Some Like It Hot (1959) I love Jack Lemmon. God rest his soul. I can't help but think thi
            s film is FANTASTIC. Two loser musicians Joe (Tony Curtis) and Jerry (Jack Lemmon) innocently stumbled upon some mafia business and are now on the run from Spats Colombo (George Raft). They dress up as women (Josephine and Daphne, respectively) and join an all woman band. Everything is going swimmingly until a distraction arrives in the very alluring for of Sugar Kane (Marilyn Monroe), a disillusioned, naive young woman, who is rather down on her luck. So things get a little complicated when the testosterone starts to flow. From Lemmon's joy at being an engaged woman, to the dizziness of Monroe, this film is impeccable. ' Nobody's perfect' but this film comes damn close. SPICY DETAILS: Directed by: Billy Wilder Written by: Billy Wilder ,I.A.L. Diamond, M Logan and Robert Thoeren Running Time:120 minutes Certificate: PG Soundtrack: Classics like I wanna be loved by you. 3, The Jacobs Cracker ward for being able to quote the script in a parrot like fashion goes to: When Harry Met Sally (1989) The movie begins with Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) and Sally Allbright (Meg Ryan) sharing a journey to New York following graduation. Sally wants to be a journalist. Harry wants to sleep with Sally, eventhough he is dating her friend Amanda. Harry is a boorish man who believes he is the most charismatic male on this planet. Sally is a romantic, who is yet to discover great sex and decent underwear (she has the days of the week on her knickers). They don't like each other. Over a ten-year span they have two chance meetings, one on a plane, one in a bookstore. They have recently split up from their perspective partners (Helen ran away with a man called Ira, Joe couldn't commit). They then decide to have dinner as friends. This is when the film begins in earnest. Forget the famous faking an orgasm scene
            (Don't try to copy it either, I once got thrown out of MacDonald’s for doing so). When Harry Met Sally is much more than that. Crystal and Ryan (both on great form despite terrible hairstyles) are given fantastic support by Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher (Marie and Jess, their best friends) A slice of Pecan Pie: Directed By: Rob Reiner Written by: Nora Ephron Running Time:96 mins. Certificate:15 Soundtrack: Melt at lovely crooner Harry Connick Jnr. working his way through 'It had to be you', alongside Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. Gershwin heaven. 5. The Julian Clary for outstanding service to sequins and campness: Strictly Ballroom (1992) Scott Hastings (Paul Mercurio) is an up and coming star in the ballroom dancing scene. It runs in his family, his mum and dad were champions too. However, his career is thrown into turmoil when he starts making up his own moves and his partner quits.. Who will dance with him now? Fran (Tara Morice), is a plain novice, who much to Scott's surprise turns out to be his perfect partner in more ways than one. His family are displeased, as they want their Scotty partnered by local star, Tina Sparkle.. (Sonia Krueger) just who will end up making the moves with Scott? And is ballroom just men in tight trousers and women in too much make up? Yes and No. You’ll see This film is wicked, in the sense of being acidic campness on overdrive. Excellent. Sad, Funny and Heartwarming. Highly recommended. The dazzling details: Directed by: Baz Luhrmann Written by: Baz Luhrmann and Craig Pearce Running Time:94 mins Certificate: PG Soundtrack: Time after Time, but apart from that nowt really :( 6. The Joan Collins award for my cradle snatching thoughts goes to : Ten Things I Hate About You (1999) Based on the Taming Of The Shrew, but with a better-looking ca
            st I bet. Ten Things I Hate is yet again another American high school romp of surprising charm. Katarina and Bianca Stratford ( Julia Stiles and Larisa Oleynik) are like chalk and cheese. Unfortunately, their father Walter (Larry Miller) has made a rule that one sister cannot date, until the other one does so too. So Blanca’s would be beau Joey Donner (Andrew Keegan) pretty boy and out and out bounder pays the most antisocial boy, a rebellious Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger,) to woo the cantankerous Kat. He wouldn’t have to ask twice with me, but there we go. While all this is going on the shy and sweet Cameron James (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is also vying for the attentions of the lovely Bianca. I have nothing else to say about this film other than I now have a crush on Heath Ledger the size of a very big planet. One of those ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m glad it ended like that, predictable sort of endings. A mere trifle of the facts: Directed by: Gil Junger Written by: William Shakespeare, adapted by Karen McCullah-Lutz and Kirsten Smith Running Time: 98 Mins Certificate:PG Soundtrack: Barenaked Ladies, Air, The Notorious BIG 7. The Dairy Lea award for cheesiness goes to: The Wedding Singer (1998) When Robbie J Hart (Adam Sandler) the local wedding singer meets Julia Sullivan (Drew Barrimore) a kooky waitress, we all watch as the pair develop a friendship amidst big hair and lace gloves, after all this in 1985. Both betrothed to equally vile partners Linda (Angela Featherstone) and Glen (Robert Glave) it's only a matter of time until romance prevails and we can go ooooh at a cameo by eighties rocker Billy Idol. Also keep your eye out for a scene stealing Steve Buscemi at the end, You’ll never be able to listen to Spandau Ballet Again, if you did in the first place! Directed by Frank Coraci Written by Tim Herlihy Runnin
            g Time: 96 minutes. Certificate :12 Soundtrack: Eighties Heaven including Kajagoogoo, The Smiths and Spandau Ballet alongsidesome great Adam Sandler tracks like the very funny 'Somebody Kill Me' 8. The Sara Lee award for sweetness goes to: Never Been Kissed (1999) Yes, yes another Drew Barrimore film, but she’s good at kooky. I like kooky. Anyway, Josie Gellar (Drew Barrimore) is given her first job as a reporter on The Chicago Sun Times, which sounds easy enough, until she finds she has to reliive her high school hell. Josie used to be a geek, yes Josie Grossy and now she has to work undercover as a student, will the second time around be any different? Josie is 25 and never had a snog, so what does she know about being a teenager? Josie soon finds that nothing much has changed except the school heartthrob is now called Guy Perkins (Jeremy Jordan). Josie finds herself hanging out with maths genius and nerd extraordinaire Aldys Martin ( Leelee Sobieski)… not exactly the story her boss wanted.. so she ropes in her popular brother Robbie (David Arquette), but the office seem more interested with her growing friendship with Sam Coulson, the handsome young English teacher (Michael Vartan). Details on the blackboard are: Directed by : Raja Gosnell Written by: Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein Running Time: 107 Mins Certificate: PG Soundtrack: the Smiths, John Lennon, Cyndi Lauper, Semisonic 9. The Vladivar Vodka award for being an outstanding source of hope goes to: Bridget Jones Diary (2001) I went to the cinema like Scrooge, bahumbug I loved this book. I hate Hugh Grant AND Renée whatshername thingymebob is too goddamn glam to be Bridget, I sat there with my M and M’s (peanut, of course) and was shown to be the silly arse I am. Bridget Jones( Renée Zellweger) is a single woman in her thirties. She loves her mates a
            nd everything , but really really wants a man to take her to country retreats. Her mother (Gemma Jones) is quite frankly a pain in the proboscis, always trying to tell her how to live her life. She has even tried to get Bridget together with the impossibly rude Mark Darcy (Colin Firth, yum). Why can’t her Mum, just bugger off because she’s doing rather well for herself in the men department, thank you very much? You see she’s in the middle of a fling with her gorgeous boss Daniel Clever (Hugh Grant)… All and all this film was not as good as the book but don’t let that put you off. Hugh Grant proved himself to be a very good at this comedy malarkey. I hate to admit it too because I have always thought of him as a wimpy hamster type. …. Directed by: Sharon Maguire Written by : Helen Fielding (Screenplay by Richard Curtis and Andrew Davies) Running Time: 97 Mins Certificate: 15 Soundtrack: Robbie Williams, Gabrielle, Chaka Kahn the ubiquitous Miss Halliwell (Urgh) 10. The Barbie Award for girliness goes to : Clueless (1995) Cher Horowitz is (Alicia Silverstone) is a girl who has everything. She is rich, she has attitude, her own vocabulary (like, whatever!) and goes to the hippest school in Beverly Hills . She is ‘in’. But this semester a few things happen, that put a wrinkle or two in Cher’s button nose. Her best friend Dionne (Stacey Dash) is planning to do the do with her boyfriend Murray and Cher is bored. When she meets the gauche Tai Fraser (Brittany Murphy) she realizes that she now has a project. In making Tai ‘cool’ Cher comes to question her own life. The dialogue is witty and ever so teenage… Fantastic! Directed by : Amy Heckerling Written by : Amy Heckerling Running Time:97 Mins Certificate: PG Soundtrack: David Bowie, No Doubt, Radiohead

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              21.09.2001 02:51
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              This category is one about which I have thought long and hard. Sadly most of the comedies that I have come up with are no longer on our screens, but I have videos of episodes to keep me laughing! I have not put these in any particular order, I just wrote them down in my notebook as I thought of them, so I’ll type them in the same order so as not to give any specific preference! The Good Life ----------------- Lets start with a true classic! The main cast members are Richard Briers as Tom, Felicity Kendall as Barbara, Paul Eddington as Jerry and Penelope Keith as Margot. Tom and Barbara are trying to be self-sufficient and consequently have a garden full of animals and vegetables. Margot, who lives next door, with Jerry her long suffering husband, is a snob albeit a likeable one, and she can’t understand why Barbara doesn’t put her foot down and stop Tom’s nonsense. There are some brilliant episodes such as the time when Margot and Jerry helped harvest the produce and when Christmas wasn’t delivered from Harrods so Margot and Jerry went to Tom and Barbara’s for Christmas. The list is endless. Yes Prime Minister (and Yes Minister) ----------------------------------------------- This again stars Paul Eddington as Jim Hacker, the Minister for Administrative Affairs and latterly the Prime Minister. Nigel Hawthorne stars as Sir Humphrey Appleby, his Private Secretary and is the one who runs the department and manipulates the minister into doing what he wants him to. Well, some of the time – sometimes Jim gets one over on Sir Humphrey and evens the score a bit! Sir Humphrey’s speeches are amazing – how he remembers all his lines I don’t know! Derek Fowlds stars as Bernard Jim Hacker’s Under Secretary and has some very clever one liners. Only Fools and Horses --------------------------- This follows the hysterical adventures of Del Boy, the wide boy
              of Peckham, alias David Jason and his brother Rodney alias Nicholas Lyndhurst. My particular favourites are the one where Del Boy is trying to impress the ladies in the night club and goes to lean on the bar and falls straight through it, yes I know everyone likes that one! The other one is where they’ve got what they think is Boycee’s stolen satellite dish on their balcony, when its really been stolen from the airport and the show ends with a huge aeroplane heading towards the flats and Rodney shouting ‘Switch it off!’ Porridge ---------- Norman Stanley Fletcher played by Ronnie Barker is a petty thief who is in jail yet again. He has newcomer Lenny Godber to share his cell and the comedy revolves around their relationship with one another and with the rest of the inmates and prison officers. Fletcher is always out to beat the system and often the other inmates too and he usually manages it too! For instance in one episode Lenny is involved in a boxing contest and both he and the other contestant have been told by two of the thugs of the prison to give the match away as they have bets on the opponent. This, of course, causes the match to be a draw as they both go down in the first round. Fletcher wins a fortune, as he was the only one to bet on a draw, as he knew what was going on from both sides! Open All Hours ------------------- This is another of Ronnie Barker’s hysterical comedies. Playing the tight fisted grocer Arkwright, he is ably assisted by his nephew Granville played by David Jason. Arkwright is forever trying to make or save money and Granville longs to be young and trendy before its too late! It was in this programme that Ronnie Barker managed to make stuttering funny without giving offence. Friends --------- Here we have six friends of about 30 years of age all virtually living together. The programmes follow their lives and loves with some brilliant one liners! ‘B
              oy scouts could have camped under there’ springs to mind and if you watch the series you’ll know exactly what I am talking about! The stars are Courtney Cox Arquette as Monica Geller, Jennifer Anniston as Rachel Green, Lisa Kudrow as Phoebe Buffet, David Schwimmer as Ross Geller, Mathew Perry as Chandler Bing and Matt Le Blanc as Joey Tribiani. Have I Got News for You ------------------------------- Angus Deayton hosts this current affairs quiz show. The team captains are Ian Hyslop of Private Eye and Paul Merton ex husband of Caroline Quentin who each have one guest per week. They answer questions about stories currently in the news and not always as respectfully as they might! They get away with saying all sorts of things by following the accusations with the word – ‘allegedly’! Dinner Ladies ----------------- The brilliant series set in a works canteen written by and starring Victoria Wood. Her old friend Julie Walters also stars as her mother who is completely batty! Sometimes so funny I laughed till I cried and sometimes poignant – just like life I suppose…… Never Mind the Buzzcocks --------------------------------- Two teams of three captained by Phill Jupitus and Shaun Hughes are put through their paces by Mark Lamarr as the host. The questions are all to do with music including a hilarious round where two members of the team have to perform introductions to three popular songs for the other team member to guess. Room 101 ------------- In this programme Paul Merton encourages his guest celebrity to banish all the things they dislike into the imaginary Room 101. Discussions often ensue involving the audience as to whether the banishing of the item is allowable. This programme is obviously funnier if the guest is witty but Paul Merton can carry the show with his humour if needs be. Well there you are my ten favourite comedy programmes.
              You may agree or disagree but I hope you enjoyed reading about them. Incidentally I also like the one off programmes of stand up comedians such as Ken Dodd, Jasper Carrott, Victoria Wood and Dave Allen to name but a few!

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                13.08.2001 23:33
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                My favourite genre of films is comedies, this is because they make you laugh and be happy. They cheer you up when you’re sad and nothing could replace a good laugh with you friends. A lot of comedies I like but there are those that aren’t funny at all. A lot I like are modern and a few are old classics. My favourite 10 comedies are listed below. 1. Road Trip; 15 This is one of the funniest films I have ever seen, it makes you laugh and it is guaranteed to keep you laughing the whole way through. It stars Sean William Scott. When a guy named Josh decides to videotape him and a girl called Beth having sex things are bound to go wrong, and that’s exactly what happens when he accidentally sends the tape to his girlfriend instead of the one he was meant to. So Josh, two of his friends and the school nerd embark on the biggest journey of their lives and try to get the tape before the girlfriend Tiffany does, a very long Road Trip! So they set off and a four thousand mile trip. On the way they manage to wreck the car, steal a bus from a blind woman and make money by selling their sperm in order to reach Josh’s girlfriend Tiffany. Will they reach her in time or will Josh’s relationship be over? Watch the film and find out. 2. American pie; 15 I love this film because it is hilarious, apart from Road Trip this is the funniest film around, and like road trip this one also stars Sean William Scott. Four high school guys make a pact with each other to all get laid before their prom. As they each battle to get a girl to go out with them they struggle to find any that are actually interested in them. One of the four finds a choirgirl that he likes and joins the choir in order to impress her. But this fails when she over hears him bragging to his mates about her. Another guy gets a girl to spread a rumour that he is great in bed, this works very well until someone reveals that it isn’t true and he ends up going
                out with someone he wouldn’t usually look at let alone go out with. Will they fulfil their pact or go to college a virgin? Watch and find out. 3. Meet The Parents; 12 I like this film because of its funny parts and the characteristics of each person. It stars Robert De Nero and Ben Stiller. When nurse Greg decides he wants to marry his girlfriend Pam he has to meet her parents to ask Pam’s father’s permission. So they go up to stay with them, and after a long flight journey Greg finds that the airline has lost his luggage, then when trying to get it back a baby decides to be sick all over him. He is left with no clothes and smelling of sick! When they arrive at the parents’ house Greg borrows some of his soon to be father-in-law’s clothes. A little while later when they are sitting down to dinner Greg opens a bottle of Champagne, the cork flies around the room and ends up knocking off a jar containing the father’s mother’s ashes, and then to make things worse the cat goes and pees on them. During his stay Pam’s sister is getting married and whilst playing volleyball Greg manages to break her nose. He thought that things couldn’t get any worse but they do when he manages to burn down the wooden alter and ruin the whole garden, then the cat runs away. After all this the dad hates him, but will he be able to forgive him enough to marry Pam? You’ll have to watch the film to find out. 4. Miss Congeniality; 12 I saw this at the cinema a little while ago; I found it very funny and loved it. I like it so much because it is so funny, the actors are really good and the film is a good laugh, it leaves you wanting more. It stars Sandra Bullock. When scruffy FBI agent Gracie Hart is assigned to take part in a beauty contest as part of a secret investigation she has to clean up quite a lot. Gracie is scruffy, messy and doesn’t at all care about her appearance. After hou
                rs and hours of grooming and training from an assistant she comes out looking normal. Then she enters the contest and has to find out who is the one going to put a bomb on the winner of the festival. Gracie comes up with loads of tricks guaranteed to make you laugh. Will she save the day? 5. Never been kissed; 12 I bought this on video a little while ago after I had hired it. I like it because it goes into a lot of depth about what a reporter has to go through if they are sent undercover. It also is quite a funny film, which makes it better. It stars Drew Barrymore and David Arquette. Wannabe reporter Josie works in a newspaper office, she is very shy and doesn’t take much care in her appearance, and her nickname at school was Josie Grosey. Then when she is sent to do a report undercover about high schools she fears that she will be reliving those horrible days at school. But she takes the job and things go from bad to worse, nobody likes her and she sees history repeating itself that is until her brother goes back to school to help her out. He soon becomes popular and helps Josie to become popular as well. Soon she is hanging around with the popular people and is living the dream she had all that time ago. But she falls in love with her English teacher and it looks like he falls in love with her too. Then at the prom after she is elected prom queen, but her dream is shattered when the popular girls decide to play a trick on a friend she had before she became popular. This forces her to confess her secret and blow her cover. Will this be the end of her career as a journalist and will the teacher never want to see her again? 6. Kevin and Perry Go Large; 15 This film is hilarious; it is so funny that it is stupid. I like it because of how two boys could actually be so thick. It stars Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke. Kevin and Perry are two boring, and very ugly teenagers looking for love, well actually some one to do it with. Aft
                er an attempt at a party and various other encounters with women they decide that the only way they are going to get laid is to go to the clubbing capitol, Ibiza. With a lot of help from the bank they manage to get tickets and they set off to Ibiza with Kevin’s parents. Their plan there is to find some girls. Whilst in Ibiza they meet ‘Eye Ball Paul’ a famous DJ who happens to be their idol. He agrees to play their song ‘Big Girls’ in his nightclub but they have to work very hard first for him to do this. So, will Kevin and Perry find the girls of their dreams and will they make it as famous DJs? 7. 10 things I hate about you; 12 This is a teenage comedy about a very complicated romance story. It is full of funny bits and although it isn’t the best comedy it is still one of my favourites. It stars Julia Stiles. This film is based on Shakespeare’s ‘The Taming of the shrew’. Bianca and Cat are both sisters and have a very strict and uptight father. He has a rule, Bianca can’t date until Cat does, but this will probably never happen because Cat is the school shrew. A guy named Cameron really wants to date Bianca and he has no money to pay anyone to date Cat. So he decides to use model Joey who also wants to date Bianca as a pawn so that whilst he pays someone to date Cat he can make a move on Bianca. It all sounds very complicated but it does get worse. Joey pays a tough guy to go out with Cat. This proves to be very difficult so as he tries harder he gets paid more and more. After spending time with Cat he begins to fall for her and realises that she is worth more than money. It is a very complicated but funny tale, worth watching. 8. What Women Want; 12 This comedy has only just been released to rent or buy on DVD. It is a great comedy staring Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt. I like its funny parts with Mel Gibson. Mel plays a full of himself guy who thinks that he knows what w
                omen want. That is until a new woman boss arrives at the advertising company he works in which annoys the guy, she gives him a box full of women things to take home and think of ideas for adverts. So when he is at home he decides to test them out by waxing his legs and putting on make-up. Then when he has a bath the hairdryer accidentally falls in the bath and electrocutes him leaving him shocked and with the power to hear what women are thinking. He uses this new power to help himself be exactly what women want him to be. Then he begins to fall in love with his boss and things start to change. This is a great romantic comedy that is a good laugh. 9. Picture Perfect; PG This is another romantic comedy full of fun and laughter. Ok, so it isn’t the funniest film but it still classifies as a comedy. It stars Kevin Bacon and Jennifer Anniston. Jennifer Anniston plays a young, attractive woman who fancies one of her work colleagues, but he doesn’t fancy her. Then whilst at a friends wedding she meets this guy. When she is back at work she loses out on a big deal because she isn’t in a stable relationship and doesn’t own a home. So she pretends that the guy at the wedding is her fiancé. Then the guy she did fancy decides that he likes her and they start dating. Then her so-called husband comes to stay and he falls in love with her. There are loads of unexpected twists in this film that makes it a better watch. Although it isn’t my favourite I do enjoy watching it. 10. Mrs Doubtfire; PG Like every film staring Robin Williams, this one is hilarious and will definitely make you laugh until you’re red in the face. I like its funny moments, which is practically the whole film! The film also stars the little girl from the film Matilda. Robin Williams plays a happily married man with three wonderful children, until his son’s birthday when he throws a huge party at the house without his wife knowing. Whe
                n she comes home to find animals all over the place and loud music blaring out of the windows she tells him she wants a divorce. This devastates him and when they go to court over the children his ex gets full custody of them. So, with the help of his brother, he becomes a woman and takes care of the kids, he is really convincing and fools everyone including the kids. So, there are my favourite ten comedy films, I hope you like them. All of them are great films and star great actors such as Robert De Nero, Sean William Scott and Robin Williams. If you know any other great comedies please let me know. I also love the Home alone films, Mr Nanny and Dumb and Dumber.

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                  03.08.2001 23:02
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                  Just to do something a little different, thought I'd pick me favourite funny 'toons from over the years. I like my cartoons to be primarily visual in nature and only two of the following have any dialogue of note. Whilst listing them I've noticed another trend, all but the first depend on escalating frustration as a theme, I don't know what that says about my psyche. In chronological order then: Tom & Jerry: The Night Before Christmas Directors: Hanna/Barbera (1942) Forget It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street, THIS is the best Christmas movie... Tom and Jerry celebrate the festive season by trying to annihilate eachother with various Xmas goodies until Tom succeeds in expelling Jerry out into the snow, and then feels guilty about it. Tom and Jerry haven't yet evolved into their final form here and seem a little too cuddly, but the background artwork is as lovingly rendered as anything in Snow White or Fantasia. The final mousetrap is a delight. It's a Wonderful Life indeed. Daffy: Duck Amuck Director: Chuck Jones (1953) What starts off looking like a regular cartoon swifty degenerates into Monty Python, where anything can and does happen to it's hapless Duck hero. First the scenary keeps changing and fading to nothing. Then the animators paintbrush appears and Daffy's very shape is altered...The beauty of it is, Daffy grudgingly accepts each new liberty and attempts to carry on regardless...becoming more frustrated and enraged and finally spluttering "...Who is responsible for this?!". It's called reality Daffy, and I concur. Droopy: Deputy Droopy Director: Tex Avery (1955) The premise of this one has two bandits attempting to rob a safe without waking up the Sheriff. Deputy Droopy has other ideas and goes out of his way to encourage the villains to scream and otherwise make noise. Occasionally very surreal with characters
                  capturing screams in containers and releasing them elsewhere...Droopy, the ultimate deadpan comic character, like Les Dawson on Prozac. Tom & Jerry: Barbecue Brawl Directors: Hanna/Barbera (1956) Spike is cooking an enormous barbeque steak for himself and the pup. As one would predict Tom & Jerry's brand of mayhem soon interrupts the canines. But there are forces at work even more powerful as a particularly militant and relentless column of ants has designs on the steak...tromp tromp tromp tromp tromp.... Road Runner: Hopalong Casualty Director: Chuck Jones (1960) The one with the Acme Earthquake Pills... What quite Wile E. Coyote hopes to achieve with these pills has always been beyond me, but just the sheer absurdity of having fed the road Runner the pills with zero effect and of course swallowing the rest himself only to read the smallprint..."Not effective on RoadRunners" followed by one of the greatest "takes" in cartoon history and the inevitable conclusion. Pink Panther: The Pink Blueprint Director: Hawley Pratt (!) (1966) The Pink Panther was a real cool cat, and here he is at his best with his standard human adversary both attempting to build a house. Blue and Pink blueprints are interchanged with a delightful frequency and the invariably duped human gradually builds what the Panther wants. Very simplistic, no dialogue, a gem. Great Director: Bob Godfrey (1975) Cheated of his Oscar in 1972 for Kama Sutra Rides Again. Bob won with this 30 minute short. A surprisingly reverent ode from an Australian to a Great British engineer, Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Detailing the man's life and works and ultimate failure along with the demise of an empire. Funny, boisterous, great songs, Richard Briers and Harry Fowler, what more do you want? The rotting trains footage is very poignant. Ultimately all you need is a Big Top Hat. GREAT
                  ! Dream Doll Director: Bob Godfrey (1979) Bob Godfrey's cartoon heroes are well meaning, quiet unassuming sexual perverts...This is the tale of a fellow who having plucked up the courage to buy an inflatible doll, has it popped by the local bullies...cue the bizarrest tale of revenge and redemption I can ever recall seeing packed into 10 minutes. Oddly touching too... 25 Ways to Quit Smoking Director: Bill Plympton (1989) A fellow with a cigarette habit quietly stands while the narrator explains 1 - 25 ways of quitting with caption cards and helpful demonstrations. To give you an idea the first way is to "Hire Someone to Watch Over You" which, when our hero lights up, drops a large sumo wrestler upon him. One of the few cartoons that really did have me ROFL. A joy for smokers and non-smokers alike. KnickKnack Director: John Lasseter (1989) A snowman falls for a pneumatic bikini clad beauty. The problem is that these figures are Knickknacks on a shelf, the snowman trapped in a snowglobe (from Nome, Alaska)...We follow his increasingly determined efforts to escape. One of a number of short computer animated cartoons in the run up to Pixar's first full length feature, Toy Story, proving that a CGI character can have a personality. All set to a simplistic Bobby McFerrin tune...The payoff will leave you with a silly grin. That's All, Folks! Availability (Or not mostly) ------------ On VHS PAL Videocassette unless noted otherwise: Night Before Christmas Tom And Jerry's 50th Birthday Classics Vol. 3 (MGM - deleted) Tom And Jerry - Vol. 3 - The Million Dollar Cat (Animated) (previously released as Cartoon Festival 3 - deleted) Duck Amuck - Unavailable (May well be available on a Daffy OR Bugs compilation there are several that do not specify what's on 'em) Deputy Droopy Droopy - Wags To Riche
                  s (Animated) (MGM deleted) Barbecue Brawl Tom And Jerry - Blue Cat Blues (MGM deleted) Tom And Jerry - Bumper Collection (Animated) (Double Pack) (MGM - deleted) (If you can find this it's great 125 mins of Brilliant cartoons!!!) Hopalong Casualty Bugs Bunny Road Runner Movie, The (Animated) (1979) Contains the episode I refer to edited together with a pile of other Road Runner clips, Skip the Bugs Bunny stuff and get to the Road Runner bits! Pink Blueprint The Pink Panther Cartoon Collection: Jet Pink (Region 1 NTSC DVD) Great - unavailable (Why? Why?) Dream Doll Bob Godfrey's Instant Sex (AVAILABLE from Blackstar, Right Recordings Ltd. Price 11.29) Best Of Zagreb Film: Nudity Required (Region 1 DVD) 25 Ways to Give Up Smoking Plymptoons (Region 1 NTSC DVD) KnickKnack Tiny Toy Stories (Disney - Never Relesed according to Blackstar. Sometimes pops up on eBay in UK format though???) (US NTSC Video cassette available)

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                    24.07.2001 18:51
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                    Here are my favourite ten comedies recently updated and I hope there are some here you haven't seen and will enjoy.... So in no order whatsoever... 1. THE NAKED GUN The best spoof comedy ever. Full of visual gags, brilliant dead pan delivery by Leslie Nielsen and very good comedy support by the other players. Real laugh out loud stuff thats never been bettered. 2. THE TALL GUY For me, the best British comedy of all time. Clever script, well directed by Mel Smith, starring Jeff Goldblum, as an out of work american actor in London. Supported by an excellent cast including Emma Thompson, Rowan Atkinson, and some real comedy gems including a friend of the main character who is blind and allergic to his guide dog, a female flatmate who brings all sorts of weird and unusual men home, and a musical of The Elephant Man! Also includes one of the funniest sex scenes you will ever see. 3. THE RACHEL PAPERS Based on the Kingsley Amis book, we follow Dexter Fletcher as the arch seducer of women in his pursuit of Ione Skye, an american student, and in doing so discovers himself. Jonathan Price steals the show as an oafish brother-in-law in a terrific comedy performance. This is a rare comedy with a heart and soul, which as well as being funny has a worthwhile message about being who you are which is subtly delivered. One that not many have seen but all should. 4. WITHOUT A CLUE Another British comedy that I guarantee a lot of you will have missed. Boasting a cast of Michael Caine and Ben Kingsley, this is an excellent spoof on the Sherlock Holmes stories. It depicts an actor playing the role of Sherlock Holmes, played by Michael Caine whilst Dr. Watson is the real detective. Cracking comedy performance by Caine as the womanising, alcoholic Holmes, and excellent support from the likes of Peter Cook and Jeffrey Jones, and a nice little detective story thrown in, this is a little treasure of a film that will have you laughing out
                    loud. 5. THE PRINCESS BRIDE Ok, so this is not strictly a comedy, but there is so much in here that is funny and it is so good that you really shouldn't miss it. A lovely fairy tale following the efforts by Wesley, played by Cary Elwes to rescue Princess Buttercup(great name!) from the clutches of evil Prince Humperdink! An impressive cast includes, Robin Wright as the princess, Mandy Patinikin, Andre the Giant, Mel Smith, Billy Crystal, Peter Falk(Columbo), and the little kid out of The Wonder Years whose name I can't remember. Music by Mark Knopfler(Dire Straits), need I say more? Excellent comedy moments throughout and a genuine adventure element. Don't miss it. 6. GROUNDHOG DAY Possibly Bill Murray's best comedy performance as the arrogant weatherman who discovers his good side through being trapped in the same time over and over again. The scope for laughs is immense and fully taken advantage of, and although predictable Andie MacDowell struggles in Murray's limelight, there ismuch fun to be had watching him trying to correct the mistakes of the previous days. Classic moments include his failing suicide attempts and the theft of the groundhog itself. Charming, funny, touching, this is a lovely film not to be missed. 7. ARMY OF DARKNESS I have reviewed this is full elsewhere but this spoof of the horror genre is a class above the likes of Scary Movie. It doesn't just copy scenes from other films and make them funny, it takes its own story and adds a spoof element to it. No subtle references to pick up on, this is a rollicking good fun. Bruce Campbell is perfectly cast as Ash, our hero, the supermarket cashier who finds himself transported to medaeval times to recover an ancient book and fight an evil undead version of himself who commands an army of skeletons. Very funny in places especially the book recovery scene, and very clever in places too. This is not high quality film making but a great laugh, and very
                    entertaining. <br> 8. AMERICAN PIE What elevates this above most of the base american teenage comedies is the interesting characters and the underlying message which usually are not even considered in this genre. The story follows the efforts of a group of very different male teenage friends as they attempt to lose their virginity before the film. That's the framework but as they really are journeying into maturity and along the way having some very amusing encounters. The classic scene for me is when an eastern european exchange student attempts to seduce one of the boys and the whole event is being broadcast across the internet with hilarious results. The most famous scene involves the apple pie but there is much more to be enjoyed from this movie. A very funny, often touching and ultimately uplifting tale of male teenage angst. 9. SHREK Yes, I know its an animated film but it is still full of terrific comedy moments. Taking the fairy tale formula and turning it on its head this is a visually stunning, exiting romp following everyone's favourite ogre as he tries to rescue the martial arts expert Princess Fiona. I won't spoil the best comedy moments as I am sure not all of you have seen this yet, but there are plenty of them. Loads of references to Disney and other films to enjoy and again there is a message rammed home with the subtelty of a brick. But don't let that put you off the very clever script and ingenious use of classic fairy tale characters to excellent comic effect. 10. KINGPIN. Well, a smutty inclusion I know but still by far the best of this type of comedy. Woody Harrelson gives a terrific comedy performance but is outshone by the outrageously brilliant Bill Murray in easil his best comedy role. Full of all types of humour but particularly toilet humour as Woody infiltrates an Amish community in an effort to lure away a talented ten pin bowler in their ranks. Along the way the pick up a busty girl as they
                    journey to Las Vegas to compete in the biggest bowling event in the world and along the way avenge the betrayal by Bill Murray's character. Some laugh at loud moments as well as some cringing ones, this is the best the Farrelly brothers have given us so far. So there you are. Any suggestions, I am sure I have missed some excellent films out but comments are very welcome.

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                      14.07.2001 00:09
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                      1. While You Were Sleeping. Sandra Bullock at her best. A heart-warming comedy that never fails to make me feel better. Originally, the lead role was destined for Demi Moore. It would have been a disaster. There are lots of funny lines in it, the opening line is accompanied by sepia images of her childhood to which she says, "I just don't remember it being this orange". Ok well it's funny when you watch it. 2. The Wedding Singer. I saw this on a really stressful day when I was waiting for some big news. I didn’t think about it once. Completely obvious storyline but so funny, lovely, sweet and retro. Heartily recommended for all you children of the eighties. Adam Sandler's post being dumped rendition of "Holiday" is a masterful wailing extravaganza including the line "I live in my sister's basement...” 3. Miss Congeniality. I saw this on a plane recently and comedy is what Sandra Bullock does best. Cheesy plot (tough FBI agent infiltrates beauty contest) but had me laughing aloud at 6am on a packed plane. The funniest bit for me was performing self-defence in an outfit last seen in "Heidi". 4. Never Been Kissed. Funny and sweet. Stars Drew Barrymore again, a bit like The Wedding Singer meets The Ugly Duckling. A journalist infiltrates a school to find out what "kids of today" are up to. Unfortunately the journalist Josie was a geek at school (Grosey Josie). 5. Sleepless in Seattle. Ok, it’s corny but it’s become a classic. A widower ends up on a call in show on Christmas Eve and America’s women fall in love. Destiny takes a hand and Annie writes a letter... This is the only film Meg Ryan hasn’t been irritating in. 6. Shakespeare in Love. I admit it; this makes my list partly because I can lust after Joe Fiennes. I’m shallow. A great film, funny one-liners and subtle Shakespeare quotes th
                      rown into the dialogue. Would break the top 5 were it not for Gwyneth Paltrow, although her Oscar acceptance speech, now that was funny. 7. Green Card. I always thought Gérard Depardieu was an odd choice for a lead male but he kind of fits in here as the man Andie MacDowell would never fall for in a million years but she’s only marrying so he can get a Green Card. Good Gentle Viewing. 8. Joes Apartment. Underrated. My housemate made me watch this comedy whose main stars (apart from Jerry O'Connell) are cockroaches and musical ones at that. What can I say? The song “funky towel” is a masterpiece. 9. Groundhog Day. Bill Murray plays an irritating sexist pig stuck in the same day. You don’t really want him to get the girl (Andie MacDowell) but it’s inevitable, it’s the law of romantic comedy. Makes me laugh though. 10. It could happen to you. I hadn't seen this film until recently (hence it hadn't made it into my top ten.) Basiclly it's the one where the cop (Nicolas Cage) doesn't have a tip for a waitress so offers her half of whatever he wins on his lottery ticket. It's touching and funny. It makes you realise money really isn't the answer to all life's problems. The one that got knocked off the bottom... 11. How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Underrated romantic comedy with a bit of drama thrown in. Life affirming stuff with Angela Bassett, the lesson is to be successful by doing what you want in life but not necessarily the traditional meaning of success. Ones to avoid... You’ve Got Mail, Sliding Doors

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                        06.05.2001 00:08
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                        1 Wayne’s World 2 Porkie’s 3 American Pie 4 The Mask 5 Ace Ventura 1 and 2 6 Spaceballs 7 Naked Gun 8 South Park: The Movie 9 Austin Powers 10 Coming To America 1 Wayne's World This is Mike Myers at his absolute, original best. The film is so funny in so many places for so many different reasons that I never get tired of watching it. Almost every scene is brilliant. The comedy hooks come primarily from the characters themselves and their interaction. Wayne's immature sense of humour is hysterical, as is Garth's camera-shyness. The episodes involving Stacy, Wayne's 'mental' ex-girlfriend, are pure brilliance, as are any scenes involving the other guys from Wayne's show. The plot basically centres around Wayne and Garth's small-time cable show Wayne's World, which is bought by a rich businessman, through the sleazy efforts of 'bad guy' Benjamin, and then completely revamped against their will. Wayne's interview of the sponsor on the new show is fantastic. There are so many individual things which make this film hilarious, such as Wayne and Garth's mockery of the Drive through burger joint, and Wayne's actions while his gorgeous girlfriend, played by Tia Carrere, is on the phone. I cannot recommend this film enough, it's the type which you memorise the dialogue to and throw out random quotes for hours down the pub with your mates. 2 Porkies This film is the original form of American puerile comedy, from which present day greats such as American Pie stemmed. This film, like almost any comedy film I can think of, does of course depend on individual sense humour. But it is on the whole, an intensely funny, easy-to-watch story of 'get your own back' with many individual moments of brilliance. The shower episode, followed swiftly by the ensuing scene in the headmaster's office, is quite possibly the funniest moment in any film, ev
                        er (in my humble opinion). The incessant pranks and mickey-taking between the characters is great, especially the scene in the hut in the woods which is top quality stuff. This camaraderie makes the characters a lot more likeable, and makes the end more satisfying. There are many 'chuckle' moments, like the scenes involving 'Meat', as well as many more serious moments which makes the film more realistic, such as the scenes involving Brian and Tim, and Brian's father. One of the most famous moments in the film, executed to perfection, is the prank phone call to Michael Hunt (see where this is going?), and this summons the humour of the film up for me. Sheer class. 3 American Pie This is a brilliant movie, as I mentioned before, mainly concentrating on puerile sexually-based jokes, some of which are flawlessly executed. The casting in this film is a total work of genius and makes it all work, from the excitable (!) and unfortunate Jim, through to the would-be suave Finch to the Sherminator himself and even Stifler’s mum. The dialogue is all realistic, the amusement stemming here mainly from Stifler and from Jim’s dad. There are so many ‘moments’ in the film, from Stifler at his party near the beginning to the immortal scene with Jim and Nadia (‘Not again, man!’), and extra touches such as the prom night itself, especially the MILF scene (‘Mum?? Sh…Sh**break???’). All of the characters are likeable, and the pranks and derision seen in films like ‘Porkie’s’ are again used to perfection. The plot centres around four guys agreeing to lose their virginity on or before prom night, and the methods in which they go about achieving or screwing up their own or each other’s chances. The film is accompanied by a brilliant soundtrack fronted by Blink 182, who even make a cameo appearance and Third Eye Blind. Perhaps the scene this film will best be remembered for is the o
                        ne which the title refers to, which is absolutely stunning and… well I won’t spoil it. This film is an absolute classic. 4 The Mask This is Jim Carrey at his absolute 100% best. After his major breakthrough in ‘Ace Ventura’, this film is basically a showcase for his amazing and unique ability to make people laugh. The concept is simple: timid, underachieving, romantically repressed bank clerk finds mystic mask which transforms the wearer into the person he dreams of being. In this case, Stanley Ipkiss becomes a suave, romantic, sophisticated, witty charmer. Cameron Diaz, in her own breakthrough role, is brilliant as Tina, as is the police chief. But of course, it is Carrey himself who makes the film what it is. The barrage of hysterical one-liners ‘That’s a spicy meatball!’, coupled with his never-ending fantastic array of facial expressions and impersonations set Carrey in his very own niche as an actor, between slapstick, overacting and subtle genius. There are hundreds of very funny situations, such as the park scene, and the reality the characters accept (‘But you told me to freeze!’), is incredibly humorous in itself, notably when The Mask is caught at the club and the bad guys try and shoot him or the episode with the balloon animals. This film is very funny, as well as being charming and incredibly easy to watch. It still baffles me how some people don’t find Jim Carrey funny. The man is a God and this film is divine too. 5 Ace Ventura 1 and 2 Both of the Ace Ventura films were brilliant, I like the first one because I think that it has more individual moments of brilliance but the ending was a bit weak. Carrey is amazing in both, and Ace Ventura is still my favourite fictional character in any film ever. I suppose it is the little touches in the sequel that make Ace more personable, such as his relationship with the other characters, like the monk brotherhood and the Chief
                        of the Wachootoo tribe’s son and his relationship with the animals. Again, there are lots of very funny one-liners (‘Aah, nobody wants to play with me!’). The best bits in the sequel are Ace’s soul-searching and his sarcasm (‘Spank you Helpy Helperton’). Jim, and Ace, ooze style in both films, perhaps it is slightly more effective in the first film as we are getting to know him. The haircut, attitude and detective ability are all faultless and the foil of the female police chief works very well. The funniest bits in the first film are Ace’s attempts to find the ring he is looking for, especially the driving bit, and his behaviour at the dinner. I know most people have seen at least the first film before, but if you haven’t, they are brilliant, Jim Carrey is incredibly sharp and funny in his breakthrough film. 6 Spaceballs This really is the definitive spoof film, and it is one of the first comedy films I ever saw. It is a typical Mel Brooks film and is expertly cast. Rick Moranis is excellent as Dark Helmet, as is John Candy in the role of Barf. The puns are faultless, from the jamming of the radar, to the imperial troops combing the desert. The Schwartz (replacing the Force), provides many funny moments, and other Star Wars spoof elements, such as Helmet's ship's passage beyond light speed into Ludicrous Speed are expertly carried out as well as being unique. The characters themselves are excellent creations, and a lot of the comedy lies in the sheer lameness of most of them, such as Pizza the Hut and C3PO's counterpart. The spoofs of other films, such as Alien, provide excellent touches, but the crowning glory, in my opinion, is the final confrontation between our hero and the evil Dark Helmet. The relationship between them is great, as are the cutting comments made during the battle, 'I see yours is as big as mine!' It's the best spoof I've seen, as well as being damn good in
                        its own right. 7 Naked Gun Another spoof film, this followed on shortly from Spaceballs, and again the casting is brilliant. Leslie Nielsen is subtly hilarious as Frank Drebin, bumbling but also occasionally very suave. This film is superior to the two sequels, through innovation and storyline. The plot is very simplistic through the whole drugs syndicate boss who is also a ‘legitimate’ corporate businessman thing, then the cop discovering his true identity with no-one believing him, even his girlfriend, an employee of the bad guy. Nielsen provides the majority of laughs, through the rapier-like puns and naïve tactlessness. The scene in Nordberg’s hospital ward with his wife is brilliantly funny, as is the scene where Drebin and his girlfriend split up. Slapstick also plays a large role, especially involving Nordberg, at the very beginning and the very end. The ridiculousness of many of the scenes and actions is often humorous, such as the one involving Ed’s wallet and the scene in Drebin’s house (‘I’m just going to change into something more comfortable’). Ultimately the best scene in the film is the last one, with Drebin going undercover as the umpire in a baseball match, who brilliantly interferes in the match as well as enjoying himself (‘Steeeeeeeeerrrrrriiiiiikkkkkkkeeeee 3!! 3!! 3!!’). Nielsen’s golden touch and deep voice give the film a classy, humorous, easy-to-watch atmosphere. 8 South Park Well, here it is. Whatever was censored in the normal series (admittedly not much, although obviously language was) is unleashed in the film, which, as with many of these types of films, is basically an extended episode. Many characters make appearances from Big Gay Al to Satan and Saddam Hussein. The humour is the same as ever, although the swearing opens more doors for humour, which is especially effective at the beginning of the film. The storyline basically goes that the ki
                        ds of South Park watch the new uncensored Terrance & Philip movie and become foul-mouthed and abusive. Kyle’s mum then declares war on Canada (Terrance & Philip’s home) and Satan intervenes. The film is outstanding in places and fairly weak in others. The whole ‘musical’ aspect can get annoying, although some of the songs are downright hilarious. The toilet humour is sharp as ever, the racial and sexual gags are brilliant and Cartman, as usual, provides a significant portion of the amusement, especially in school after he has seen the film and after he has the chip implanted in his head. Other smaller roles, such as ‘The Mole’ are great touches too. All in all, a quite good film with some truly side-splitting moments. 9 Austin Powers The vast majority of people have seen Austin Powers before, probably 10 times. It’s a brilliant film, re-inventing the spoof genre with Mike Myers own’ unique personality. I saw it a few years ago and I thought it was brilliant then. Doctor Evil is the best villain I have seen for ages, and his lack of common sense and style as well as his constant demand for respect are fantastic (‘Throw me a frickin’ bone here!’). Minor touches, such as Austin’s ‘3-point turn’ and Doctor Evil sitting at his chair are effective, as is Myers’ mockery of traditional spy-film elements, such as killing the hostage and killing the henchman. Liz Hurley is very sexy as Vanessa and there are a record number of great dialogue sequences to remember, such as when Austin recovers his personal possessions after being unfrozen and basically any scene involving Doctor Evil and also Scott. The sequel was a bit disappointing in my opinion because it relied too much on the gags from the first film and failed to do anything new, although there were some great moments such as the Jerry Springer scene. If you are going to watch either, watch this one, it’s very funn
                        y. 10 Coming To America This is probably the film I have seen the most times ever, but Wayne’s World has got to come pretty close. It is such an easy film to watch, and Eddie Murphy isn’t as crude as we usually see him, instead he plays the naïve, innocent, wise, and very likeable Prince Akeem, who travels to America to seek his Queen, rejecting the arranged marriage ritual of his own country. Posing as ‘ordinary African students’ him and his loyal friend Semi, played by Arsenio Hall, travel to Queens to find him a wife. Most of the laughs are chuckles, as the film is always lighthearted, very charming and incredibly watchable. The more ridiculous characters are funny, notably the men in the barber shop, the women in the club and the reverend. Murphy and Hall play the part of an amazing amount of characters, Murphy even becoming a white man and Hall becoming a woman. The whole plot-line often stretches believability but it doesn’t matter as you get too lost in it and in the characters. Eddie Murphy comes out with some great one-liners, and this, combined with his non-streetwise nature makes for many humorous situations. Very entertaining and amusing.

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                          26.03.2001 23:34
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                          I like movies, there you go I've admitted it - I'm a movie-geek, One of my all-time favourite types of Movie has to be the aincent art of Comedy, so we sit back browsing around dooyoo one day and see that they're openly inviting people to give you their top 10 of comedy movies, well sounds like a challenge to me, as always with top 10's theres a warning here - they're all pretty recent, sorry, anyway I digress: 10. Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure (1989), Dude!, A most excellent movie, Bill and Ted, the main characters need help with their History Report, however instead of going via the usual route of going to the Library and reading Books, they hop on a time-machine and ask the people themselves. A top movie, that is packed with laughs from start to finish, each of them dafter than the last one, but still its a movie of acquired tastes of which I of course have Favourite Quote: History Teacher: Who was Joan of Arc? Ted: Noah's wife? 9. So I Married an Axe-Murderer (1993), Ever fallen in love? of course you have, ever had second thoughts? of course you have, now sit back and watch as this movie reminds you of all the times you've come up with daft excuses as to why somebody isn't Mr/Mrs Right. This was the movie that opened my eyes to the genius that is Mike Myers, thats reason enough for it to enter the top ten comedy movies of all time, nice script, even better cast, definitely worth a watch. Favourite Quote: Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate "The Colonel"? Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts a secret ingredient in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass! 8. Waynes World (1992), Oh look Mike Myers again, this time we have a spin-off from Saturday Night Live, Wayne and Garth run a small cable-access TV show and get offered big money to go onto a major TV channel with the show, these are the original Airheads of T
                          V and this is a classic. Not too much to be said about the movie itself here - its stupid, very stupid but its stupidity is what gives it that cutting edge, anyone should be able to pick it up in a bargain basket somewhere NOW! Favourite Quote: Wayne Campbell: Exsqueeze me? Baking powder? 7. Clueless (1995), Oh this may make me very unpopular around the land of dooyoo, I love this movie - there I've admitted it, go on send a few nasty e-mails, I don't care, see this is a GOOD movie (stop sniggering), it made me laugh and thats all I ask of any movie. There wasn't that much of a plot to the movie, basically the writers decided to make a modern-day comedy version of the Jane Austen book Emma starring Alicia Silverstone (always a pleasure), its another dumb movie, but theres nothing wrong with that now is there? Favourite Quote: Cher: Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value! 6. Happy Gilmore (1996), Erk its a Golf movie - now golf isn't usually something I'd assosciate with classic movies but this ones different - see Happy Gilmore is a hockey player forced to quit so he decides to give Golf a go and to everyones surprise hes a hit! This time there is a storyline of sorts, see the other golfers don't like him so they plan to make it so he quits the sport, OK not the best of storylines but it'll do for a comedy movie, different if nowt else. Favourite Quote: Happy Gilmore: If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass. 5. Cable Guy (1996), Dark twisted comedy directed by Ben Stiller, slated by everyone and lord knows why, its a great film Jim Carrey plays Chip Douglas a psycho Cable TV operator who happens to get obsessed with Steven Kovacks (played by Matthew Broderick). No matter how mu
                          ch other people detest it, its a great way to waste a couple of hours, and as I speak available for 2.99 from Virgin, Go, later, rate this first, then go and buy it go on you know you want to. Favourite Quote: Chip Douglas: Wow, the old McNair place. Never thought they'd get the floors clean after what happened. Steven Kovacs: Why? What happened? Chip Douglas: They had a lot of cats. 4. Austin Powers 1 (1997), Well Hello there baby, you've managed to stay awake all the way through to number 4 of my Groovy top 10 list, now then this is toilet humour at its best - Austin the super-spy of the 60's brought back in the 90's to battle Dr.Evil, classic humour all the way through. This is the 3rd time Mike Myers has appeared in this top 10 list (is that cheating?) so it just goes to show how big a fan of his work I am, this being the best movie hes ever released. Favourite Quote: U.N. Repressentative: So, Mr. Evil - Dr. Evil: It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "mister," thank you very much. 3. Dogma (1999), Snooch to the Nooch!, Kevin Smith at his second best (see below), Dogma the movie that spawned thousands of Hate letters, it takes modern-day religion and makes a joke out of it, not the sort of movie to release in america, but still it is absolutely brilliant!, basic storyline - Loki and Bartleby, two fallen angels are about to put an end to earth and we need someone special to help us - step in the last descendant of Christ Bethany Sloane, with the help of people like Jay and Silent Bob this is a rollercoaster ride all the way. Don't let the fact that it pokes humour at religion put you off this movie, its very light-hearted and is extremely worth getting offended for. Favourite Quote: Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
                          <br>Jay: I can't wait to die. (actually that isn't the favourite quote - but my favourite has bad language and dooyoo wouldn't like that!) 2.Clerks (1994), Even thinking about this movie makes me giggle, once again its a Kevin Smith movie, and its the one that started off the Kevin Smith experience, shot totally in Black and White, it tells the story of an average day in Dante Hicks life, hes a Clerk at a grocery store who has lets just say a few problems. Not only was this the first Kevin Smith movie, it was also the first appearance of Jay and Silent Bob, the best comedy duo in movies today, if it wasn't for the success of this low-budget flick, who knows how we would have been passing our time instead, Julia Roberts latest romantic comedy? please don't scare me! Favourite Quote: [After losing a hockey ball from the roof.] Dante Hicks: Are there any balls down there? Jay Phat Buds: About the biggest pair you ever seen, dingleberry! 1. The Last Supper (1995), Favourite movie of all time bar none, If you thought you could change the world by killing off a few potential Hitlers would you? because thats what this movie is all about - its got a very deep storyline whilst having tonnes of comedy moments, in fact it has it all. Starring Cameron Diaz and an almost unknown cast, its a movie that never stops making you laugh, think and consider what you would have done in a similar situation, its dark very dark, but its still one of the best ever. Worst of all its an art-house style movie, so it doesn't have the following it should do, instead we're left with a couple of web-pages by amateurs and a listing on imdb, this is the alltime classic, and nobody, literally nobody should miss out on watching it. Favourite Quote: Luke: People disappear all of the time. Jude: Especially in Iowa. We probably saved him from an alien abduction. Ther
                          e you go, my definitive top 10 comedy movies, now no doubt I've upset someone along the way of writing this, but hey this is my 'Opinion' and thats what we're all here for and I've said it before so I'll say it again - Not Useful doesn't mean disagree, keep that in mind, eh folks?

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                            26.03.2001 20:24
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                            What is comedy ? If a comedy film is one that makes you laugh,'Requiem for a Dream' should be held up as a classic example of the genre. I was stony-faced watching 'Miss Congeniality'. I cracked up during 'Happiness'. Im not going to labour the point, but its so very true: what makes one fella laugh can make another cry. Humour is a very indiviudal thing, and my list of 10 comedy films probably reflects that. However, I have tried to keep to the more traditional alleyways of comedy. So here we go, in no particular order: Meatballs: The funniest summer camp film. Enjoys the same atmosphere as 'Friday 13th', but without the killings. Its also quite true to life, as anyone who has gone to a U.S. summer camp can testify. American Pie: The best recent example of the teen flick genre. Its got plenty of drinking and debauchery, but what really sets it apart is the attention to the little things, like the weird cast of supporting characters. Animal House: A brilliant film to kick back with your friends and whip down some beers. You can watch this before going out and hitting the town, guaranteed to lift the spirits and get you psyched. Grosse Point Blank: Intelligent and funny, without being clever-clever. Some excellent quotables. Whitnail & I: Possibly the best drinking film ever. Whitnail is a true hero to all hard drinkers. Monty Python and the Joly Grail: First time I saw this, my sides almost split, and it still cracks me up. Blasphemy and wacky voices. Clerks: Awesome, especially considering the budget. Kevin Smith is definitely one of my favourite film makers around at the moment. One of the best scripts of all time. Spinal Tap: Everyone should love this film, but anyone who has been into rock music should have an extra special place in their heart for the Tap. You gots to love the deadpan style. Dazed and Confused: Funny and affecting. I missed the
                            70s, but if they were anything like this film, then I'm sure they rocked. Happiness: I guess a lot of this shouldn't be funny, but it really is. Not really to all tastes, but if you're opened minded, then dig it. Swingers: A great film for all guys, though sometimes painful as it contains several sequences where you've got to admit you've been there, and you too have been that lame. I know I went over the ten, but as any fan of the Tap knows, its always good to go one louder.

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                            18.02.2001 20:13
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                            This has been an excruciating difficult task to do, as there are sooo many brilliant comedy films out there. To be fair I've listed ten films that were designed as comedies, although there are many films that have made me laugh unintentionally (see "Grease 2") but were not actually categorised as comedies. As usual my list is in no specific order, well maybe from choice #2 onwards. Enjoy! (1) Mallrats (1995) What a film! And whoever hasn’t laughed at this film should be injected with a sense of humour. This was Kevin Smith's second film, and unfortunately flopped big time due to some rather cruel and shortsighted reviews. It did however gain a huge cult following on video/DVD which is where I first discovered it, and incidentally Kevin Smith films in general. "Mallrats" is Kevin Smith's homage to 80s teen films, and is set around two recently dumped blokes Brodie (Jason Lee) and T.S (Jeremy London) who spend one day at a mall, only to come into contact with many hilarious characters, in particular the ever-fantastic Jay and Silent Bob. The film is packed with many funny moments, from Magic Eye paintings to battered Easter bunnies to topless psychics to cheesy dating game shows to chocolate covered pretzels, this film has it all, so if you've yet to see it then go out and find it now. Favourite moment: When Brodie and T.S sabotage the dating game show. (2) Wayne's World 2 (1993) Here is proof that some sequels can be better than the original film (although it must be stated that the first "Wayne's World" film was in itself excellent). Mike Myers and Dana Carvey return as cable TV kings Wayne and Garth. This time the pair are concentrating on putting on their own music festival "Waynestock" after Wayne visits Jim Morrison in a dream. Like the first film there are many spoofs on such films as "Jurassic Park" and "The Graduate", and there is one great
                            scene when Wayne and Garth and their gang are dressed up as the Village People and accidentally stumble into a gay bar, and are then forced to perform their rendition of "Y.M.C.A". This film will have you quoting for months (or in my case years) afterwards, for example: Wayne - "Wow, Gerry and the Pacemakers, you know, I bet those guys actually have pacemakers by now." An excellent film. Favourite moment: After Wayne and Garth track down legendary roadie Del Preston (played by Ralph Brown) he entertains them by telling them a story about getting some brown M&Ms for Ozzie Osbourne. (3) The Wedding Singer (1998) Every other Adam Sandler film I've seen I've hated, yet "The Wedding Singer" is an exception. Although it's a romantic comedy, it can also be seen as a satire on the 80s, as it completely takes the p*** out of all things considered "hip and cool" then. The story focuses on Sandler's character Robbie, a wedding singer who is jilted at the altar, who eventually falls for engaged waitress Julia (Drew Barrymore). There are loads of brilliant and highly tacky moments in this film, some of the best scenes involving one of Robbie's backing band George (Alexis Arquette) who is a Boy George wannabe who tortures wedding parties with his rendition of "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me". There is also an incredibly humorous cameo by the fantastic Steve Buscemi who appears as a drunken best man. If you were ever adult enough to live through the 80s then the film may make you cringe but it's definitely worth a look. Favourite moment: Steve Buscemi's speech as the drunken and pathetic best man. (4) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) Some people may argue that "The Life of Brian" is the funniest Monty Python film, but I'd sooner settle for "The Holy Grail". Granted it does have one of the worst endings ever in the history of film, but the com
                            edy featured throughout more than makes up for this. The film is all about King Arthur (Graham Chapman) and his knights of the round table who after being spoken to by God himself go off in search of the Holy Grail, with each knight having their own separate tale. During their journeys they come across many obstacles such as the Black knight (who even when he’s down to his last leg will not admit defeat in a fight), the bridge of death and the Knights Who Say “Ni”. There are lots of funny animated parts in the film as well, the best segment being one involving a load of monks and a nun. The film can be quite odd at times but certainly provides many laughs. Favourite moment: When the Knights of Ni send King Arthur out to get (cue drastic music) a shrubbery! (5) Airplane! (1980) The mother of all spoof films, “Airplane!” is a comedy classic. It’s based around a plane that is set to crash as the pilot (and many other passengers) has contracted food poisoning. Unfortunately the only man who knows how to fly a plane is deeply traumatised of flying and also had a relationship with one of the stewardesses. Everything that can go wrong on the flight does, and the plane seems to be filled of eccentric people. The film also features a brilliant comic performance from the deadpan Leslie Neilson, who of course went on to more spooftastic films in the “Naked Gun” series. The film contains loads of funny dialogue (e.g. “Don’t call me Shirley”) and there’s basically noting to be criticised about this film. Favourite moment: The “Saturday Night Fever” spoof. (6) Empire Records (1995) First let me start by saying that this is a very underrated film, with it also being one of the only decent teen films of the 90s. The film is set on one day in an independent record store, which is about to go bankrupt and be turned into a leading music chain store. Although this is t
                            he main storyline, there are lots of side-plots focused on the characters, who all work at the shop. They are all facing some kind of problem, whether it’s being caught shoplifting to failed suicide attempts. The store is also visited by a dried up has-been singer, Rex Manning (Maxwell Caulfield) who all the employees at Empire hate, except for Corey (Liv Tyler) who has a huge crush on him despite his criminal hairstyle. The film ends with the employees throwing a huge party to raise the cash to save the store. The film is very humorous, thanks to the witty dialogue mostly, and it also sports some great performances from a largely unknown cast. Favourite Moment: All the scenes which feature the employees taking the p*** out of the pretentious Rex Manning. (7) A Fish Called Wanda (1988) This is an excellent film, thanks to largely the performances given by Kevin Kline and Michael Palin. The plot involves a group of people committing armed robbery who then all try to double-cross each other for the loot. The script (written by John Cleese who also stars in the film) is excellent as is the interaction between the characters who all handle the comedy perfectly. Every character is more or less humorous, in particular Ken (Michael Palin) who unfortunately has a stutter which proves to be very misfortunate at times, and Otto (Kevin Kline who quite rightly won a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for this performance) who hates the British and considers himself to be something of an intellectual, when really he is incredibly stupid (this is shown for example when Jamie Lee Curtis, as Wanda tells him “The London Underground is not a political movement!”). If you’ve yet to see the film then you really must, but give the (sort-of) sequel “Fierce Creatures” a miss. Favourite moment: When Otto tortures fish-loving Ken by eating his prized tropical fish – “What’s this one’s name? I think I’ll call it
                            lunch, hello lunch!” (8) Weird Science (1985) I had to have at least one cheesy 80s John Hughes comedy in this list, and whilst most people rave on about “The Breakfast Club”, “Weird Science” in my opinion is far better. The plot is quite ridiculous, two teenagers, Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell Smith) decide to create their own dream woman on a computer, and in doing so they manage to create Lisa (Kelly LeBrock) who teaches them all they need to know about girls, whilst also being equipped with magic powers. Like all 80s teen films there is a huge party near the end, and the film is basically a nightmare for those who were teenagers in the 80s, with reminders of trashy clothes, bad hairstyles and other cheese flavoured 80s memorabilia. The film also features a hilarious performance from Bill Paxton who plays Wyatt’s bullying older brother Chet who gets a lot of the best dialogue (e.g. after encountering a drunken Gary and Wyatt who look the worse for wear, Chet tortures them by saying “How 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?”). Cheesy, incredibly sentimental at the end yet very very funny, “Weird Science” is nothing short of brilliant. Favourite moment: When Gary introduces Lisa to his very conservative parents, which of course ends up in disaster. (9) So I Married an Axe Murderer (1993) Largely overshadowed by other films starring Mike Myers such as ”Wayne’s World” and “Austin Powers”, “SIMAAM” is a fantastic and humorous film that deserves more recognition. It’s storyline centres on Charlie (Myers) as a commitment phobic poet who has a string of perfectly decent ex-girlfriends, but eventually meets his Miss Right in the form of butcher Harriet (Nancy Travis) who he soon believes to be Miss X, a serial killer who murders all her husbands on her wedding night. Throughout the fi
                            lm we also see Charlie’s eccentric Scottish father Stuart (also played by Myers) who emotionally tortures his other son (who has been “gifted” with a rather large head) by calling him “heed” and throwing insults such as “Looks like an orange on a toothpick!” Again the film excels in great dialogue brought to life from performances from the ever-comedic Mike Myers, but the supporting cast also do a great job. Favourite moment: Charlie’s poem “Woman” which is dedicated to all of his ex-girlfriends. (10) Clerks (1994) Okay, so I know I shouldn’t be allowed to have two Kevin Smith films on my list, but can you really blame me? For any of you that don’t know, “Clerks” was Kevin Smith’s first film, made on an exceedingly low budget and shot at the convenience store where he worked. Oh and it also happens to be a very funny film. The plot focuses on a day in the life of Quick Stop employee Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and his best friend Randal (Jeff Anderson) who works at the nearby video store (who never actually seems to stay in the store for more than 10 minutes though). There isn’t much of a plot besides from Dante winging on about his ex-girlfriend all day, but the film thrives on witty dialogue and observations from the two. During the film the pair cast cynicism on all of the odd customers that pass by, such as a man who wishes to find the perfect carton of eggs and a woman who searches for the carton of milk which has the latest sell-by-date on it. Dante and Randal also through the course of the film play a hockey game on the roof of the Quick Stop and also visit a wake for a recently deceased friend (which they sabotage after Randal knocks the casket over). “Clerks” also sees the first appearance of a certain duo named Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) who provide some of the film’s best moments. In short, a not-to-be m
                            issed film. Favourite moment: Dante and Randal discuss the customers who annoy them most.

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                              17.02.2001 17:10
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                              Seems my taste goes from saccharine to action comedies...can't believe how hard this has been, so here goes: 1-American Pie. This will make you cry, cringe and grab a pillow to hide behind. I found this so funny that i don't think I can really express it. You probably know the story, its centres on four adolescent American boys who make a pact to lose their virginity by prom night. It then follows the attempts of the said boys and the luck that they have. There are some very funny moments in this, but perhaps the best three involve the girl from band camp, an apple pie and Nadia. Enough said. I've only met one person who didn't like this movie, so i'f you haven't seen it, don't be put of by the fact that it could be dubbed a 'coming of age' film. Watching it will remind you of your youth and make you damn glad that you are grown up now! So if you want to watch a laugh out loud film, rent this - I don't think you'll be disappointed. 2-Four Weddings What can I say - know this is a bit of a classic, but it still cracks me up. Maybe a bit of a chick flick. We follow the loves and lost loves of a group of thirty somethings, meeting them at various weddings. I'm not a big Hugh Grant fan, but still very funny at times and also touching and sweet. 3-True Lies Arnold Schwarzenegga nad jamie Lee Curtis star in this action romantic comedy. Don't be put off by the 'romantic' bit though - wonderfully laugh out loud bits. 4-Brief Encounter (1946) Black and white classic. Not something that will have tears streaming down your face, but the humour makes a slow smile come over your face. We follow the brief affair of a woman and a man who she meets. The ending is oh so typically English. 5-Truth about Cats and Dogs Another one not to watch with the parents for THAT phone scene... 6-Fierce
                              Creatures Sequal to A Fish Called Wanda and similar humour. Very, very funny British comedy. 7-French Kiss Romantic comedy starring Meg Rhan and Kevin Kline. Kline sporting a huge moustache and a well dodgy accent. 8-Shooting Fish Another good British comedy, the title comes from the US phrase "it's like shooting fish in a barrel", similar to our "like taking candy from a baby". Heist which goes wrong. Well worth a watch. 9-The Man in the Santa Clause Suit (1978) Some might consider this saccarine, but a Christmas staple with comic moments. A real feel good movie. 10-As Good As It Gets Helen hunter and Jack Nicolson star. Romantic comedy - two characters are brought together through biazzar circumstances. Very comic moments involving Nicholson and a small dog. Phew, that was actually pretty hard to decide. I also liked Brassed off and the second Leathal Weapon film, but thought they should maybe be rated 11 and 12. Dunno if you'll agree with any of these...

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                                14.02.2001 17:31
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                                Need a laugh? Well I have decided to write an opinion on what I currently consider to be my favourite ten comedy films. As with all top ten opinions there will be ones which I will think of again later and may lead to a reconsideration of this list, but for the moment these are the ten which come to mind. So, in no particular order: "Austin Powers II" (to give it a polite title!) It is an extremely rare thing for me to want to go and see a film twice at a cinema, but that was exactly what I had to do with this film. Consistently laugh-out-loud funny, the creativity of Mike Myers is evident in all his characters (but especially so in Dr. Evil). Like the first film it is a wonderful parody of the Bond films, but with Heather Graham replacing Liz Hurley it makes the second film a slight upgrade on the original film (which is also very funny). "The Naked Gun" I have to admit to getting into the Naked Gun/Police Squad humour a long way behind anyone else, but it now does not matter how many times I see it as all the old jokes (however corny they may be) are still funny. Add in the fact that every time you re-watch it you spot something you have not seen before and you have plenty of reasons to keep watching it again and again. Excellent performances also come in from Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley and George Kennedy. The follow-up ("The Naked Gun 2 1/2") is also well worth watching, although I have not seen the final part of the trilogy ("The Naked Gun 33 1/3") enough times to be able to recommend that as well or not. "So I Married An Axe Murderer" Probably one of the least heralded films of Mike Myers career (being viewed as a follow-up to "Wayne's World" did not help), but an absolute classic that provides laughs from just about every angle. A paranoid leading man, a slightly odd (potential) sister-in-law, a caring policeman, an odd be
                                st friend and an eccentric Mother. But in my opinion the mad Father, Stuart McKenzie, pushes everyone into second place. If you have not seen this film yet it is worth doing so just for the scene where Stuart sings at the wedding reception (I will not spoil it by telling you what he sings!). "The Waterboy" Probably due to the topic that it covers it was never likely to be popular over here, but for an American Sports fan like myself it was very funny. I watched it when I was having a really bad time and work and desperately needed something to cheer me up. Sandler's antics as Bobby Boucher helped to do this, along with Henry Winkler's coaching methods and Kathy Bates' maternal mix of strange cooking and brandishing everything as "The Devil". There are a few in-jokes for American Football fans, but don't let that put you off. "Necessary Roughness" Similar but less well known than "The Waterboy", featuring Quantum Leap star Scott Bakula. Again there are a few in-jokes for American Football fans, but for most of the time it is extremely easy to follow and provides lots of easy laughs. In some ways it may be funnier than "The Waterboy", as some of the ineptitude on display is startlingly funny, while the outrageous brawl scene is also well worth seeing. Sinbad (from "A Different World") and Jason Bateman (remember him?) also feature to good effect. "Men at Work" Brothers Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez pair up as bin men who keep getting themselves into trouble, but then stumble across it in a really big way when a local politician is murdered. Plenty of interesting scrapes take place along the way, although for me it is crazed Vietnam veteran Louis who steals the show. His anger comes across in all sorts of amusing ways, with the biggest victims being an innocent pizza delivery man and two local policeman who dare t
                                o get in his way. "Crazy People" This films works off a fantastic and totally unrealistic idea that advertisers be completely honest about their products. As a result of his ideas Advertising Executive Dudley Moore is sent to a Mental Institution. Worthwhile for the advertisements alone, e.g. "The French can be annoying, come to Greece - we're nicer". "Four Weddings and a Funeral" A simple idea, following a group of friends through their lives as weddings come and go. The weddings serve to help the film bridge gaps in time seamlessly, but it is the humour that makes this film come alive. Charlie's consistently poor timekeeping (played wonderfully by Hugh Grant, before we knew that he could only play Upper Class Englishmen), Rowan Atkinson's cameo as a nervous Vicar and consistently poor wedding speeches highlight the film for me. "The Blues Brothers" Following Jake and Elwood Blues around Illinois as they seek to raise funds on their "Mission from God". Carrie Fisher attempts to hinder things, as do the vengeful Country and Western band The Good Ol’ Boys, the Illinois Nazis and the State Police. For me the best parts are when Dan Akyroyd (Elwood) states, "This is glue. Strong stuff!", and of course the legendarily ridiculous car chase at the end (look out for the ridiculous sounding SWAT team too). "Withnail and I" Following the fortunes of out-of-work actors Withnail and I (who is apparently called Marwood), my (then) best friend and I bored the lives out of our respective partners on Christmas Day in 1998 by watching this through several times. The settings appear grim, but funny lines come from everywhere. Richard E. Grant (as Withnail) is wonderfully OTT and provides most of the quotable lines from the film. "Get in the back of the van!", "It's perfectly alright, lea
                                ve them to me!" and "We've come on holiday by mistake!" all originated here. Incidentally this is the perfect film to have to cheer you up when you have Glandular Fever (although you may want to just take my word for that!). All excellent films which come highly recommended.

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